"i feel like i've been really open to people lately, but that people haven't been too open to me, and i think what i need to do is seek a more mutual situation. i need to keep in mind several things.

one: just because someone likes me, doesn't mean that spending time or energy on them/with them is healthy for me, or beneficial to my growth. just because i can learn a lot from everyone, growing by being open to who they are, seeing where i've been or where i want to be, unless they are also open to me being where i'm at, and listening to who i am and what i'm trying to accomplish as a person, there's really no point. why waste my time? everyone has a lot of growing to do, so all of the flaws don't really matter. can't judge the amount of flaws from one person to the next, especially if the timeline is a lifetime.

but if the person is also acting out, being negative and cynical about your own choices and feelings, then a decision has to be made. i decide i would rather bow out and seek out those who are really going to challenge me. in a good way. not that i know what good is. i read about one of those types of books every coupla months. it's good. having a broad group of things to inform my life is always fun. my lack of relationship with my ex's isn't necessarily a bad thing."
-beau sia-