andre the giant has a posse. they say that your friends are a reflection of you. would you subscribe to that theory? would you allow a random lottery of five of your friends to represent you? are there some friends you'd cringe at seeing come up in the lottery? i mean, we all have those right? friends that other people don't really understand how you're friends. no common interests, no real ties of any kind, totally opposing/conflicting personalities. of course, anyone can be friends with anyone -- life pulls people together in the most random of ways -- but some friendships make little to no sense. some friendships could even drag you down in the eyes of your peers.

so, which of your friends would you allow to represent you? there would be some "superstar" friends of course, where you'd always want them to be associated with you. your stock rises simply by being friends with them. "i know angelina jolie." that'll probably make people like you, even if the reasons for that are somewhat questionable. if a friend is particularly cool, that kind of positive image rubs off on you too. a cool friend is like pixie dust, or akin to a rising tide that raises all boats.

ethan watters talks about how in his study of urban tribes, he noticed that friends had a tendency to glorify each other. "he's the most talented person i know, she's the nicest person ever, they are the most charming well-mannered and sociable people ever. my friends are the best!" friends tend to overemphasize each other's good sides and rationalize away the bad. "he's not a drunk, he's just loud." mr watter's answer to why we do this? because we want to look good.

if friends are a mirror unto ourselves, why wouldn't we praise them to others? by raising their stock, your own stock soars too. in the same way, maybe some people defame their friends because their friends' stock is too high, and you have to drag them down a few levels to make yourself look better in comparison. "yeah, he may be the really good at tetris, but damn, he can't fix a flat tire." it's a little dance we do, alternately praising and bad-mouthing our friends. is it all selfish and ego driven? maybe.