how a social network theorist examines your life

(1) who are the people you'd call to discuss a romantic heartbreak?
(2) who are the friends you could ask to borrow money?
(3) who are the people you'd ask if you needed someone to stay at your house?
(4) who are those you would talk to if you needed advice about a problem?
(5) who are those you could call to take you out and cheer you up?
(6) who are those you'd call if you were moving or painting a room and needed a hand?
(7) who would your friends invite if they were throwing you a surprise birthday party?
(8) who are the people you'd share a sport or an avocation with?

the names that come out of these questions would compose the key players in what researchers would call your "personal community," that is, a "social network defined from the standpoints of the Egos [aka: you] at its center."

this list in hand, the social network theorist could draw a sociogram of your social network. he would start with a dot indicating you, at the center, then draw lines radiating out to other dots indicating the friends whose names came up in the first five questions. obviously the first five questions would elicity smaller numbers of people than the latter questions because they indcate a stronger connection and deeper trust. most people average about three close friends or kin in these categories. the number of times the same person appears on the list is a rough indication of the strength of the social gravity he or she exerts on you.

the social network theorist's next steps in drawing your sociogram would be to include the names that begin to appear at question number six. he could draw slightly longer lines to connect your dot to these names, indicating that they exert slightly less interpersonal gravity on your life. these might be the people you see when larger groups of your friends gather. indeed, you may know them only within the context of these groups and spend little time with them one-on-one. your sociogram at this point may look a little like a picture of an exploding firework with you at the center.
-urban tribes: are friends the new family?-