under the table and dreaming. there was a movie that came out a few years ago that i'd always meant to watch. i never got to watch it and promptly forgot about it, until i saw it at a bookstore being sold for ten dollars. so i picked it up and watched it. i'll pause here for congenial applause.

the idea is to remain in a constant state of departure while always arriving. it saves on introductions and goodbyes.

it's a trip. perhaps an amazing trip, but i can't tell yet. it's a very confusing movie. not because the plot is convoluted or poorly executed but because the dialogue was hard to follow. it's a conversation movie, but not really a conversation. just a ton of monologues and diatribes about philosophy and dreaming and life.

"the basic plot of the film is based on a physiological phenomenon known as 'lucid dreaming'. lucid dreaming means dreaming while knowing that you are dreaming."

that's what the plot of the movie is based on, but actually watching it, you have no clue that this is what it's about because you're constantly distracted by words, ideas, and images. the visuals of the film are amazing. it's a live-action film underneath animated layers, so the actors, backgrounds and shots are bathed in cartoon lines and colors. it's an interesting effect. kind of annoying and dizzying at first but then the animations start to make perfect sense.

watching the movie, i couldn't help getting lulled into a state of near sleep. as much as i wanted to pay attention to every line and every word, i couldn't. the words came too fast and furious. the ideas were too plentiful to grasp. nobody can concentrate that hard for that long. kind of a sad statement actually, on our mtv induced attention spans, but also an ode to how deep the movie is. i wouldn't call any of the ideas particularly ground-breaking, since it's like a philosophy 102 class, but presented in this format, the material is intimidating and overwhelming. that's how i felt, overwhelmed. i'm gonna have to watch this movie like twenty more times, in ten minute snippets, to get anything out of it.

i'm afraid that i'll love this movie after i've watched it those twenty minutes. because i think this is the kind of movie that i should like, that i want to like, so i'll make myself like it. which makes me wonder if i'm just kidding myself. maybe this movie is bad, but i'll say it's good, just because it's supposed to be right up my alley. and i want to be up my alley. it's like i'll turn myself into who i think i am, rather than going along with what i actually am. you know?

and on really romantic evenings of self, i go salsa dancing with my confusion.

oh yeah, the name of the movie is "waking life." and the director, richard linklater, is a name that i always keep an eye on, as he was the director of slacker, dazed and confused, and before sunrise/sunset.

"this entire thing we're involved with called the world is an opportunity to exhibit how exciting alienation can be. life is a matter of a miracle that is collected over time by moments flabbergasted to be in each others' presence. the world is an exam, to see if we can rise into the direct experiences. our eyesight is here as a test, to see if we can see beyond it. matter is here as a test for our curiosity. doubt is here as an exam for our vitality."
-speed levitch, waking life-