the sting. does anyone take criticism well? it's hard to find someone who will smile and thank you after you criticize them. and like really criticize them, not stuff like "oh, socks and sandals don't go well together. maybe you should change." but when you criticize something that someone actually cares about, how do most people react? maybe they respond positively at first, and they might even thank you for your candor, but afterwards, i feel like a lot of people start to turn what you've said into something personal.

"why did that person just criticize me? who are they to say i didn't do something right? they don't know what they're talking about. they don't know me. fuck'em. who do they think they are?" and at that point, your well intentioned criticisms are lost in a swirl of denials and defenses.

and when you're the one giving the criticism, it should be assumed that you're criticizing someone to better themselves, and not just because you think it should be a certain way -- if it's not, hold your tongue. there's also being overly critical and then trying to be constructively critical. it may be hard for someone to take one without confusing it with the other. make your criticisms count.

and even when we give out constructive criticism, our inner nice guy tends to kid-glove it. like you hold back in fear of hurting people's feelings. in fear of permanently injuring your friendship. so we say one or two bad things as opposed to the fifty you really think. but really, if you're gonna take your shots, and they're asking for it, why not give'em the double barrel? why hold back anything?

sensitivity shouldn't be an issue between two really good friends. it's better to be honest with our criticisms, rather than careful.