you and me ain't nothing but mammals. i have to admit. i lean toward star struckness. if you are famous, i am in awe. if you are really famous, i can't wait to tell my friends all about when i saw you. not that i ever see anyone famous. the most random famous person i've ever seen is howard stern. howard freaking stern. he was wearing a blazer jacket and going shirtless. wow. imagine my joy at seeing howard stern shirtless. i wasn't quite so starstruck seeing him. but i assume that if i saw other famous people in real life, i would be gaga.



why is this? what makes famous people so much cooler? i mean, they could be total jerks or idiots but just because they possess some measure of celebrity i stand in awe? famous people are real people too right? everyone talks about how cool this or that celebrity is, how chill they are. but really, why wouldn't they be chill? they have mad money, great lives, nothing to worry about. hell, i would be chill too. but there is something exhilirating about seeing a famous person occupying the same space as you. "wow, so and so was at the same k-mart as me, that's so great!" i really just like gazing at famous people. i don't want to talk to them, or get pictures or autographs. i feel like it's kind of intruding to go ask for pictures or autographs (sometimes u do need proof though). i just like to stare at their every little move. examine them, see their star power in action.



oh wait, i've seen some more famous people. a few sports folk, a macy gray, a kirsten dunst, a montell jordan, a few other random celebrities. the back of sylvestor stallone's head. i shook david copperfield's hand once but i paid for that experience. most celebrities i see are of the "he was in that movie right? that one?" we can never match faces to names.



you would think that having lived in new york (and worked on fifth avenue no less) and been out in la, i would have met some famous people by now. but no. so what i need is for someone i know to become famous so that i can approach them and be totally cool and normal.



and here is how i would come off as cool and normal. i would not talk about what they do. if they act, i would talk about books. if they write, i would talk about gardening. if they dunk, i would talk about video games. because who wants to talk about the same thing over and over? i don't need to ask them "so, what's it like being a famous actor?" i would want to ask them intriguing questions so they would continue talking to me. someone try this strategy and tell me if it works. i may be too busy untangling me tongue to actually try this strategy myself.