what once was lost but now found. this is a dark tale, be forewarned. a few weeks ago, in a moment of complete and utter stupidity, i lost my ipod. yes, the very same ipod that was given to me earlier this summer by these fine people. the same ipod that had rarely been out of my room, james' car or the computer room. how could i lose it? where could it go? an ipod is many things but a walking sentinent being it is not. my fellow ipod owners were quick to shun me. they teased me relentlessly and said that i must not have loved the ipod enough, and that's why it left. some people suggested that a higher power was punishing me for my forgetfulness and what amounts to essentially, infidelity. james said that if his son ever lost an ipod he would probably disown him, and he wasn't joking. people tried to vilify me for my absent mindedness. and rightly so. an ipod is the gift that keeps on giving. nothing could serve better as an earthly reflection of agape love than an ipod. it's beautiful, compact and capable of drowning out dull conversations. how could i lose it if i loved it? if you love something enough, you should know where it is at all times right?



after everyone was done haranguing me, they offered to help me look. and look they did but still no ipod. my robotic exterior remained calm during this search and i said "oh, it'll turn up, it's gotta be in my (incredibly messy) room. i don't take it anywhere else." but my human inside was dying. i went through all the scenarios which could possibly result from me being ipod-less. none of it involved beautiful birds and/or bumblebees. life post losing an ipod was mainly a desolate barren area filled only with cobwebs. not pretty. i did manage however, to find the earphones, the charger, the orange sock that served as a safety holder for the ipod. but no apple created gem. james was still freaking out and calling me names. he was being very helpful.



i hated myself right then and there for not having a place for my ipod. i have a place for my keys, a place for my wallet, a place for my gum, my cigarettes, a place for my cash savings, a place for my cash withdrawals (conveniently located one cement cinder cubby up from the savings department), a place for my friends, in short, a place for everything important. if you're going to be a person of clutter, you have to have a specific place to put important things. this even applies to your everyday walk abouts. my keys are in my right pocket, my wallet in my right cargo pocket, my gum and various slips of paper in my left pocket, my cigarettes and lighter in my left cargo pocket. nothing changes. why?



because in order to keep track of things, you have to make sure that you place items in their proper places every time, or else you lose them. gene, being possibly the most cluttered person i know, keeps his wallet on a chain. amazingly, he's lost his wallet a few times, even though it's supposed to be attached to his pants at all times. how he does it, i don't know. that's the magic of gene.



i found my ipod. many hours later. it was in my room, just where i knew it would be. it wasn't lost, it was just misplaced. but now it has a place and i'll never lose it again. is this what it feels like to lose your kid in the grocery store? the whole time he/she/it is gone you're thinking to yourself "i can't believe i just lost my most important possession!" your world crumbles and you want to kill yourself. that's how i felt. and when you finally get your kid (or ipod) back you promise to never let it out of your sight. but invariably you do it again. and then what? trauma, absolute trauma.