crash test dummy (or) bad m_therfucker (or) i could find an intern who could do your job for free like that *exaggerated finger snap*. i have somehow, despite my dalliant summer and utter disregard of adult responsibilties, landed a dream job. if you ask me what my five top industries to work in are, i would say something along the lines of "publishing, movies, sports, video games and general punditry." guess what industy i'm now a proud part of? yes sir, the video game industry -- which is bigger than the movie industry.

what will i be doing? i will be playtesting games. the only thing better than this job would be to not only playtest but also review, which would include me getting free games and stuff. but let's not shoot for the moon when above sea level is barely in sight. starting next week, i will be a video game tester. oh, and did i mention that i will be getting paid? not handsomely, but the same amount as my last job, in which i was typing, faxing, copying and breeding ennui. clap your hands to the beat, i have a direction in life for at least a few months -- since this gig is only temporary. this opportunity (thanks to ryan hoodlum for the hookup) may not look grandiose to you gentle reader, but believe you me, it is paradigm shifting for me. i have a chance to do something i like! every goal, aspiration, simple pleasure is now within reach! ok, i'm getting way ahead of myself, and using too many exclamation marks. but basically i finally get to answer the age old question of: if i like what i'm doing, will work no longer be like work? will i be finally motivated to wake up on time and go beyond the call of duty for a light at the end of the tunnel? answers to these questions and more will be discerned by the new year.

interviewing for the position was interesting. i mean, really, what qualifications are needed to become a video game tester? shouldn't my utter geekdom and life experiences speak for itself? questions posed to me had serious overtures like "what do you hope to achieve in the video game industry? why do you want to be in this industry?" i wanted to just scream, "because it's fucking cool man!" but i restrained myself from stating the obvious and spit out a more professional answer. something about video games being on the cutting edge of entertainment, technology and opportunity. people who conduct the interviews for these positions must constantly be tripping out and amusing themselves by trying to come up with fun questions to ask. i was fearful that i didn't come across as fun or interested enough in my interview. deep down inside i wanted to do a herky jerky modern dance to the song of excitement buried shallowly in my heart, but that might have gotten me eliminated from the candidate pool. either for my herky jerky dancing or my exuberance, or maybe both.

if i could hug my PS2 and all other nearby video game systems right now, without looking silly, i would.

i also get to dress casual and wear whatever accessories and jewelry i want. this benefit cannot be overlooked. screw health plans and 401Ks, i want to wear a t-shirt to work. do i have my mind on the sparrow or what? i'm really trying not to get too excited about this job until i officially get let in the front doors and sit down to work (this is the chicken little in me talking) but really, it's pretty hard not to be majorly stoked.

eeeeek! i promise never to make this noise again, in print or aurally.