five minute man. as a self styled master of the five minute conversation, i have some tips to impart. what are five minute conversations? they are the ones you have with acquaintances or semi-friends or somebody you aren't close to. with close friends you can have the short "throwaway conversation" that is entirely not forced and easily relapses back into silence, with non-close friends this can be difficult. likely scenarios for a five minute conversation: driving a short distance, smoke breaks, standing in line, waiting for a drink at the bar, quick phone calls, finding yourself suddenly left alone in a room with someone where conversation is necessary because otherwise the silence is deafening. the key to a five minute conversation is for that conversation to have some minimal meaning or exchange of information. call it the quick DDT, although it's not Deep or Dark, mainly just Talk.



the easy way to jump start a five minute convo is to ask a leading question. "so, how do you compare your group of friends in high school to your group of friends now?" if that doesn't do the trick, a monologue is the way to go. expound on something light and refreshing, not trivial but not overly complex. give an opinion on something, in short, share. "isn't it amazing that 60% of married couples have cheated on each other (not a definite statistic, just something dredged up over google)? don't you think that the number is kind of crazy?"



the greatest thing about a five minute conversation is that you are operating within the parameters of a time constraint. you don't have to go searching for multiple points of contact, just one. if you can make them laugh once and get them to give a simple opinion, you've done your job. a failed five minute conversation usually entails talk about jobs, weather, what you did today -- those are kind of boring and aren't worthy of "conversation" status.



the five minute conversation is a hit and run mission: get in, get out, say your goodbyes, go home. you leave a little something behind, get the feeling of getting to know someone a fraction of a bit better, plus you get the benefit of not having to suffer through the possibility of an uncomfortable silence or nodding in agreement to a long conversation you wanted no part of in the first place. if the conversation goes well, you can always bring the topic back up and delve more deeply into it later; but if didn't go well, you haven't invested much into it in the first place so it's not a huge loss.



oh, five minute conversations are not conversations that last only five minutes or less. if you have to look for an out in a conversation -- the "i have to go to the bathroom, i'll be right back" thing -- that's more of a cut off conversation. five minute conversations have an end point that is clearly defined and in plain view of both parties before the conversation even starts.



a successful five minute conversation must channel the essence of a haiku: restricting in form, short, sweet, and slightly profound. i am now prepared to talk to you, but only for five minutes. see you later. peace.