lemonade tycoon. we went to the fair this past weekend. the del mar fair -- now renamed to the grandiose and more inclusive "san diego county fair" -- has been a summer institution around these parts. each year, the fair gets bigger and bigger; i heard that the del mar fair is one of the ten biggest in the country.

if you live near the fair grounds, like i do, you have to be wary of traffic as the fair gears up each summer. since i'm averse to crowds and people in general, i rarely go to the fair. i used to love it for the food, the excitement, the stinky llama exhibition. the highlight of the fair is usually the hypnotist, who makes a killing each year doing his thing. but now that i've seen his night show starring brian babbs (the vhs video is probably the greatest thing i've ever seen), his pg-rated show isn't quite the same.

the fair features some crickety roller coasters too; we all know how i feel about that. i hate how people are made to go on roller coasters because they're supposedly "fun." people always insist that you go with them, even if you've stated already that you hate them. i mean, i've been on tons of roller coasters, and the only one i enjoy is space mountain. if i can see the drops coming, i hate the ride. but see, roller coasters are supposed to be this fun thing, so if you don't go people assume that you're missing out. it's as if having diarrhea was suddenly a national pastime and if you chose not to engage in it, you'd be missing out. trust me, i'm not missing out. but if everyone goes, you feel this social obligation to go too. especially if, say, your girlfriend loves roller coasters.

the thing that's incredibly weird about the fair is seeing all these (male) miscreants and scoundrels walking around carrying giant stuffed unicorns and teddy bears. a faux-country fair or carnival is the only place where men are allowed to walk freely around with oversized pink toys and nobody bats an eyelash. it really puts into perspective just how much of a farce most male machismo is. "well, if everyone else is carrying around jimoungous sesame street characters, i can do it too." if one of these guys walked around their normal neighborhoods carrying a plushy toy they would get jeered at and probably beat down. guys will pretty much get in line as long as all other guys do it. think spartan pederasty.

really, going to the fair makes me think about the futility of people trying to capture the ideal, and function, of country fairs from the 1930s and stuff; when fairs were actually staged to give people a place to gather and experience new things. nowadays, these fairs are just designed to rip a hole in your pocket and show you some flea bitten cow, goats, and chickens.

we did get to see an exotic beaver however. it's strange to think that in all my life and all my visits to zoos and stuff that i've never even laid eyes on a beaver -- which is a marvel of nature but a bit too common to warrant inserting into an actual zoo exhibit. so that was a highlight. as well as seeing lemonade stands designed exactly like the ones in a videogame we used to play all day at work.

TOTAL: $77
admission: $18
rides: $25
pictures: $10
photobooth: $10
corn: $11
lemonade: $3