"the dating adventures are the most breathtaking. ned is on the receiving end of women's boring, self-pitying monologues and endless tirades about what bastards men are. his dates all suspect he is as bad as the rest of them: 'they made every man they met into a wolf, even when that man was a woman.'

the dates are when the deceit hits norah. her project to experience life as a man turns into a personal nightmare. a feminist and a lesbian, vincent expects that, as a convincing ned, she will finally have a life of privilege and entitlement. but men have their own unpleasant codes, ned discovers. don't hold anyone's gaze too long. don't show too much enthusiasm. don't be apologetic about anything. show no weakness. this -- and the essential deceit -- brings vincent to the verge of a nervous breakdown. instead of feeling powerful and dominating, ned finds being a man depressing and exhausting. you have to put on a constant show of 'maleness'.

this feeling isn't just about being a woman trapped in a man's body. most men, vincent claims, feel this way. they are constantly having to fight to assert their identity, hide their emotions, to be the man. vincent hates to admit it initially, but men, too, have their cross to bear. they're all faking it to some extent. the disguise of being a man, she notes at her last all-men bonding session, 'was the one thing i had in common with every guy in the room'"
-review of norah vincent's "self-made man"-