ocarina of time. people want my life, or rather, they just want my job. we're having another round of hirings -- which eliminates my hopes of being laid off -- and people are coming out of the woodwork to apply for a grunt position within my esteemed company. they are writing elaborate thank you emails about how securing a job here would be "a dream," and they compare meeting employees of this company to meeting actual rock stars.

wow. i'm a rock star.

actually i've been a rockstar for nearly a year now and i'm beyond ready to get out. contrast this to last summer, when the only thing i wanted in life was this video game job. i thought this would be my destiny, i thought this would be my path. alas, the video game industry has proven only to be a longer than anticipated life diversion.

my loss of enthusiasm isn't due to the ridiculous hours, the lost weekends, or the periods of extreme boredom -- it's about not really loving it. i admit it, i don't love video games, at least the game testing part. and i don't have the patience or tenacity to stick around long enough to move up to "the next level." other than that, this job is ideal for me. the casualness, the late start time, the utter lack of responsibility...

sometimes (often) the things you want, once you get them, don't seem to measure up. i feel like a child who pines away for that one special toy, finally gets it, and then promptly forgets about it two weeks later.