wanted. two girls, aged twenty two. one is a student and the other works three part time jobs. both are single and ready to party, but also like their down times and aren't into being sloshed all day long. "(we're) mellow during the week but like going out on the weekends." erika and kelly (possibly their real names) both like to work out, go out, play pool, go to the beach and watch tv -- although they're not too proud of this last activity, why is beyond me. the girls are quote, "very clean."



wanna hang out with erika and kelly? well, first you have to qualify.



are you a guy or girl between the age of twenty and thirty? are you a non-smoker, a non-druggie, a dog lover, and have a full time job? can you be clean and respectful of other people's space? are you also not into drinking every night, and can appreciate a good lazy movie on the weekend? are you drama-free, goal orientated, responsible and fun-loving? then erica and kelly want to live with you, maybe. pending the approval process of course.



it seems like finding a roommate these days is just about as difficult as finding a person you'd want to date. people are super picky about who they want to live with. i've never encountered any hardships when picking roommates. i've always had the good fortune to live with friends wherever i've been, except for freshman year of college -- which was literally a smelly disaster. but now i'm forseeing a future where i'll eventually have to live with strangers. one of my co-workers is going through this process right now. he's gone on eight interviews, had two call backs and still no success. why? becuase people are hella picky man. my co-worker is waiting day and night for responses from people and he's getting nothing. he's asking me for advice on how to respond, when he should call for updates, what a particular word in an email might mean, what his chances are -- all the stuff you normally associate with getting girlfriends or jobs. it's nuts.



wouldn't it be better if everything worked on a lease system? and you knew you could depend on some sort of income -- monetary or emotional -- for six months or more from a person? and that people who request month by month romantic leases are unreliable and require stringent credit checks and also a fat deposit in case they run away unexpectedly? how great would this be? every time a given lease is about to run out -- and only when a lease is about to run out, thus cutting down on the weekly/daily DTRs -- everyone has to consider re-newing their commitment. "do we still want to be going out? should we go for a shorter lease this time? things haven't been going so well. let's reassess over dinner and decide." and if someone wants to break a contract early, they're responsible for finding you an adequate replacement for the duration of the original contract -- with your approval of course. anyone see anything wrong with this idea?



romantic contracts all the way i say. this would also help a lot in deterring arguments -- generally making for better relationships. "ah hell, this contract only runs for another two months, i can put up with her philandering. she's moving out anyway."



and if you're interested in rooming with erica and kelly, send them an email. "we're really not as picky as we sound, we just want to find a good fit!" don't we all...