clear and present danger. let's say you've got two friends. one of them is interested in the other. the one you're closer with is a great person, actually, they're both great people, but you see a potential mismatch. you see where they vibe, you see where they might really have a chance to make something, but you know things that one or the other doesn't know. should you warn one of the parties? let's say billy likes tricia. you're really close with billy -- you know him inside and out -- for good and for bad. you're not nearly as close to tricia but you're still good friends. if billy and tricia start to express interest in each other, is it right for you to potentially nip something in the bud by telling tricia about some less than savory traits that billy possesses?



is it your duty to say nothing since you're closer to billy? even if you think tricia stands to get hurt here? should you remove yourself from the situation, just become a bystander, and not get involved? what if you're the one who introduced billy and tricia. if all shit goes to hell (for reasons you could have anticipated), would tricia be right to be mad at you for not warning her? would you be ratting out your boy billy by not keeping your mouth shut?



most people would take the middle road on this one. warn tricia, tell billy you told her some things, then take a step back and watch it all unfold. that way, you did your part and any future guilt could be absolved, and you wouldn't have really rat out your boy totally. this is the path of least resistance. that's not what i would do.



i would choose to not say anything to tricia, despite knowing things that might be useful. i wouldn't want to taint her initial high opinion of billy with cautionary tales. i'd just talk to billy about being very very careful. i say you attack from the source of the trouble, and you talk to whichever one you're closer with. and if that doesn't work then, oh well, you never should have introduced them in the first place.



i think if you're gonna introduce people, you gotta give'em a fair shot right? because anything negative you say will unduly influence someone, just because your "insider" knowledge will probably carry some weight. and the slightest defensive posture, or cautious mindset from tricia, can eventually ruin it all for their budding relationship. mum's the word.



but really, how many of your friends would you recommend for a relationship, without some sort of side comment or caveat? like none right? it's like recommending a movie. you've seen it a few times before, you know if it's good or not, you know which parts they'll probably like, which parts they'll hate. you don't just keep quiet right? how can you just pass on a (movie or other) recommendation without some personal comments? and usually the comments are of the "the boy is good but the commitment sucks" or "she's cute but not so much in the morning" variety. if your ass is gonna be on the line for recommending/introducing something, you gotta hedge your bets right?



cupid's arrow isn't pointy for nothing.