party of five. i could probably count on one hand the number of times i’ve been out somewhere with just one other person. i’m not a “hang out with one person” type of guy. some people are fully capable of going out to clubs alone, i can’t do that. some people go out to bars/clubs with just two or three people. i almost never do that. if it’s just two of us, i usually just take a pass. and the only thing keeping me from saying that i never go out with a party numbering less than five are the times when some combination of me, hong, babbs and gene go out. but other than that, i’m only out somewhere if we have five or more.



if i show up at a pre-determined location with only one friend or two in tow, it’s usually because i couldn’t entice anyone else to come fulfill a social obligation. if it were up to me, i would bring everyone i want to be with, with me everywhere. this kind of mentality leads to some problems. it’s like separation anxiety, or separation angst. the longer i’m away from my “home” friends, the weaker i feel. it’s like dracula and transylvania -- i cannot be separated from my dirt for too long. i can only venture out on my own for so long. after a certain point, i feel a siren call to return to where everyone knows my name.



this is not to say that i don’t enjoy the time spent in the company of just one friend. because i really like being able to talk to people on a one on one basis. but i feel like in most instances, the more the merrier. if you happen to get into an one on one situation, great. but rarely do i seek it.



however, i know lots of people who don’t like this. due to personality or logistics, some people don’t really like tons of other people around all the time. there are a myriad of personality reasons for why people don't like lots of other people around all the time. so many i can't even get into it here. but it's clear that logistically, once you reach a certain numerical value, you are taking away from the fun that everyone can experience. why have ten people around when you really only want four? unless you have thirty people (the party-to-go number), why bother having twelve? it gets hard to mobilize, it gets hard to decide, it gets hard to do anything.



this is why it gets difficult for me to engage in other people’s lives -- something i've been accused of many times. the mental contortions that i have to go through to go somewhere by myself is usually enough to deter my actually going. do i want to drive down to go hang out with jughead or just stay here and do nothing with screech, slater and zach? screech, slater and zach win almost every time.



if you think about it, what friendship value am i losing by missing one night of hanging out with people i see every day? the value lost is pretty much nothing, unless something tremendous happens to happen. but by going out there and hanging out with a more peripheral friend, you would learn new things, do new things, maybe even strengthen the ties that bond. so logically, and from a cost benefit perspective, it makes sense to give up a night with a social value of 0 to engage in a night with a social value +2 or higher.



but i really can’t do it. it’s not that it's too hard; but for me, it’s just hard enough. back to the hotel!