spangled. last night we went to a padres game, courtesy of mr pan. no, not that mr pan. the real original mr pan, hong's dad. so far hong's dad has been our major source of ultimate hookups for events in san diego. the "fake" cirque dreams, riverdance, the comedy show, and now the padres. and my what excellent seats we got. slightly above field level, first base line, in a luxury box. yes, there, i said it. luxury box. a man could get used to this.



now i have less than a passing interest in baseball. as far as i'm concerned it's just the fluff they put in-between other highlights on sportscenter. that's not to say that my baseball knowledge is shoddy, but i have no interest in the game. baseball is america's infatuation as far as i'm concerned. but man, the way they mow the grass on those fields, looks amazing doesn't it? a few comments on baseball game related things that i really care about.



first off, the fashion. baseball uniforms are so classic. what other sport or vocation still thinks wearing ultra-tapered pants is cool? i mean, football players wear tights but that's for housing pads and cutting down on underhanded grabbing of clothes. most other sports have turned to "baggier is better." not baseball. so classic in its streamlined profiles, plus or minus a big butt here or there. anyone who wears an oversized baseball uniform just looks like an idiot. keep it clingy fellas, way to go.



and note how baseball might be the only sport where earrings and jewelry is acceptable. barry bonds wears a dangly cross earring on his left ear, the side uncovered by his batting helmet. i can't help but stare (admire?) at the big diamonds that gleam from other player's ear lobes. it's just like, so out there. i think football players might wear earrings underneath their helmets but really, you can't see that stuff and to me, wearing thousand dollar accessories while engaged in a contact sport is just idiotic. plus, a twist of a wrong tackle and off goes your ear and your earring. boo. in the race to accessorize, the nba still has the coolest gear (finger cuffs, arm bands, sweat bands, rubber bands, leg sleeves, afros, knee braces) but baseball gets the jewelry. mr t could've played baseball if he wasn't busy getting his lunch handed to him by rocky.



and now for a tale of woe. a tragedy shakespearean in scope. the padres, along with getting a new stadium, got new uniforms. hideous bland generic navy-sand beige uniforms that are boring as all get out. navy!?! who wants to support a team rocking navy? navy is for conservative ill matched blazers. plus, every other sports team has navy as part of its color scheme. what was wrong with the retro now-tro look of the old jerseys? the distinctive brown and yellow set the padres apart. the only reason i might've mildly supported the padres was because they had cool team colors. take that away and what have you got? nothing. why pick boring navy when your nemesai, the dodgers, sport similar colors? a lady at the pizza stand asked whether or not we were dodger fans. while we were wearing our padre hats. if you can't tell your team apart from all the other teams, why bother? stupid stupid stupid. nobody wins championships looking like a cheap knock off.



and the new wave inspired logo by the padres is just plain retarded. san diego is by the ocean, let's put a wave in the logo like ocean spray. it goes so well with our new navy look don't you think? what was wrong with the swinging friar logo? he not cool enough for you? not abstract enough? do you have something against the founders of our lovely missions? go junipero serra. down with the wave.



the new ballpark is very nice though. lots of flat screen tvs conveniently set up everywhere. it was particularly useful for scouting potential boyfriends for people. you just can't get the full measure of a man when he's just a uniformed blob a hundred feet away. but with television zoom you could get full unobstructed views of the all the player's faces. right lilly?



the white steel used in the construction of petco park is just beautiful to look at. i was a bit turned off by the dirt and dust that had already accumulated in the "new" ballpark but i guess when you have tens of thousands of people going to a week's worth of games you can't really get nit picky. we did our best to keep our peanut droppings in a cup though. so conscientious we were. and of course we had all the classic baseball game foods. peanuts, cracker jacks, nachos, pizza, hot dogs, diet coke, cotton candy, beer. we might have been supporting a small nation of starved children if you didn't know it was just four of us. and having box seats in a suite meant we had a private bathroom. that amenity cannot be overlooked. no troughs, no foul smelling riff raff hoarding the stalls, just a nice big bathroom with tile and lockable doors. gene took advantage of the private bathroom at least ten times during the course of the evening. that boy has a small bladder. but man, what baseball knowledge he possesses. he kind of scares me with how much he knows about each player. he must stalk baseball players when he's not hanging out with me.



and for my last baseball comment, since you care so much. we got hats. matching navy san diego padres hats. courtesy of the man, dave's son himself. never have we looked cooler. pictures will follow but for now just rest assured that matching hats is the way to go to show solidarity and togetherness. great shame about that brown and yellow though.



oh yeah, the padres won. eight to three. highlighted by an awesome six run fourth inning. it was a great game.