and i saw my reflection. i've pinpointed the problem i have with small talk and meeting new acquaintances – the people that you have no vested interest in. the problem is that any interesting conversation that you could potentially be having is short circuited due to a lack of even trying. this happens when both parties realize they need to be in a conversation but are committed to dishing out rote answers. “talking just to talk.” so, in an effort to sustain some sort of audio volume, you might end up agreeing and nodding along to statements that you totally disagree with.



"kobe bryant is the best player on earth." i might reply "yeah, he's pretty solid" while inside i'm thinking "i hate kobe." but why bother going in this direction with the conversation? far better to just agree and let the conversation continue on, no need to say anything interesting. now imagine if both parties are avoiding interesting or offensive comments. it's like watching a political debate with an overly sensitive crowd. yes, it's boring.



someone might say, "didn't you just love austin powers? i thought it should of been nominated for an oscar." i might be shocked and awed by the audacity (stupidity) of this statement but regardless of how much i dislike austin powers, i’ll bite my tongue. instead of launching into a diatribe i will nod my head and say things like "yeah, that mike myers guy is pretty damn funny, hardy har har." i can't even roll my eyes because i'm concentrating on looking at them so attentively.



the worst is when you first meet someone and you are pretty much just slinging around looking for any subjects to "relate" to. if they went to europe you ask them about museums, language, food, people, clubs, anything in an attempt to talk about nothing. sometimes it's terrible because you are just trying your damnest to find something to latch onto but nothing holds up. "how was the food?" "oh, i was fasting the whole time, i didn't eat." "how was the trip?" "i don't remember." "when did you go?" "why do you care?"



the best thing i've found to do, in these aforementioned situations, is to feign ignorance on all things. just ask lots of questions, even stupid ones that have obvious answers and are low in interest content. "how did you get to europe? oh, by plane eh? that's nice, how long did that take? they show movies on planes?!? how wonderous......" i like to compare this method to a pitcher floating fat fastballs over the middle of the plate. the person at the other end swings and hits on every question and you both feel good about yourselves -- he hits home runs, you get to kill time without engaging in anything requiring actual interaction. it works out great for everyone.