smells like persimmon. in a heated debate -- worthy of the immortal lincoln-douglas debates -- yesterday night, a finalized list of "who is the biggest bitch" was done up. fear not, there is no misogyny here, when we speak of bitches we speak of ourselves, the male protrusion. a male bitch is one who is whooped. to clarify further, a bitch is a guy who when under the influence of a girl(s), will do anything for her. this is something that just happens, guys get whooped by girls. it's darwinistic in its simplicity. when god made woman he gave her a whipping stick, wily guile and womanly persuasion (ie. they smell nice). males fall for this every time. so the question is, which males fall the most often and the most consistently? whom amongst us is the biggest bitch? yes, who is the weakest link?



with no naming of names the top contenders were easily identified. but then there were some sleeper bitches. some dark horse bitches. and someone even tried to finger a shady bitch, but that title never stuck. fueled by alchohol and late night ridiculousness the process of creating this particular list was hilarious as all get out. "how about that one time? dude shut up! i could call out so many blah blah blahs. and remember when you did THAT for her?! oh shit! YOU are two times the bitch i am!"



it's issues like these that need to be clarified in any circle of friends. guys just need to know who is the biggest, who is the best, who is the most capable. this is so that when a girl asks "who is the best at this?" there can be one conditioned response. interestingly enough, not everyone wanted to be the lowest bitch. although in general being a male bitch was construed as "bad," some people would of rather been near the middle because there is some attractiveness and heart associated with being at the beck and call of your womyn warrior. strange how you are a bitch up until the day you get married (or are very very serious) but then after you get married all bitch labels are dropped and you are just "married." maybe it's because with marriage you've suddenly become so much of the ultimate bitch that you've transcended all attempts at status and independence -- by choice of course, by choice. so with marriage, suddenly since you've found eternal happiness and have begun to toy with the burden of impending divorce, you are exempt from bitch status.



i so disagree with this -- the being married allows one to be a bitch philosophy. but moving on.



i know that i can be a bitch at times. never to a significant other but more to certain friends. but my reasoning for it all is that i want to be a bitch for these people, and it's on the level that i don't have to be if i don't want to and i won't feel any guilt or remorse if i suddenly don't do something. see, the difference between being a real bitch and a pseudo bitch is the remorse. if i've flaked out or averted some form of bitching, i don't exactly feel guilty or bad. for some of the bigger bitches, i feel like that's par for the course, to be obligated to do something is the key. thus, whooped.



dispute.