Say Anything

Hey you know all those personal questionnaires often sent around by email or on MySpace? We can thank French writer Marcel Proust for popularizing them. He was introduced to one while a young man and since then always answered them "with enthusiasm." Apparently he believed that these questions would shed insight on a person. Fast forward a hundred years or so and now it's a race to see who can come up with the most amusing answers. Ah, evolution.

If someone doesn't like you, it's usually because ______ ?
Their boy/girlfriends are not that into them.

Since July 1993, Vanity Fair has dedicated its backpage to having a famous person answer a Proust Questionnaire. Did you know that Quincy Jones' greatest fear is "of ever becoming a grown-up, please." Or that Umberto Eco's is "to lose my sense of humor at the moment of my death." Most recently, David Mamet said that his idea of perfect happiness is "a healthy family, peace between nations, and all the critics die." Revelatory stuff right?

I used to always carry this book of questions around and try to get people to participate. This misguided attempt to insert depth and openness into a hang out period usually failed. Why teenagers didn't like sitting around answering: "Would you like to know the precise date of your death" is beyond me but it sure sounded like an excellent jumping off point for a raucous night.

"Hold the alchohol, Jon is here with The Book of Questions! He's the life of the party, yah!" I think I was just ahead of my time.

To tell the truth, I hate these questionnaires and rarely answer them. It's hard to come up with "what's your greatest regret" or "my most embarassing moment." I mean, are these really getting to know you questions or are they just bullshit? I feel like I should really like this kind of stuff because I'm a huge advocate of handing out informational cards when meeting new people (cuts down on the small talk), various top five lists, asking random questions and the like but at a certain point, who cares?

For example: Corn, eggs, and peanut butter fall into my top five food items. Now you know. Whoopee. I've revealed my inner nature and now we're totally close. On a related note, is anything more boring than watching James Lipton ask actors and actresses about their favorite sound? And then a five second dramatic pause before they inevitably answer "silence." Ooooh, super deep.