Everything Bad Feels So Good

I hardly smoke anymore. Sure, I want to, but it's such a production. Most importantly, I'm plumb out of smoking gloves. Along with that, I usually require a smoking change of clothes. I don't like to smoke and then go inside and sit on the furniture because my mom's pristine house will probably collapse or groan in agony or something. I really barely even enjoy the taste of cigarettes anymore. It's really just a mental thing at this point. I still smoke when we're out, or when a conversation dictates a smoke break, but that's about it.

"A few weeks ago in Tribeca, in a Magritte-like twilight, I saw a woman in a lighted window on a high floor of a loft apartment building. She was standing on a chair and lowering the window's upper sash. She tossed her hair and did something complicated with her arms which I recognized as the lighting of a cigarette. Then she leaned her elbow and her chin on the sash and blew smoke into the humid air outside. I fell in love at first sight as she stood there, both inside and outside, inhaling contradiction and breathing out ambivalence."
-Jonathan Franzen, Sifting the Ashes-

Upon some reflection, I doubt I'll ever truly quit. I mean, go cold turkey for life. The simple pleasure of it outweighs almost everything else. Plus, it's really a race to see if my teeth rot from candy or my lungs from cancer first so I'd like to give both an equal chance.

The real addiction I suffer from is Haribo gummies. I love the tough chewiness of the brand even if many people prefer the gooey-er textured gummies. Since the local Ralphs has discontinued carrying my penguin gummies, I've resorted to running through the Haribo product line. I don't think my teeth stand a chance... Forget this vita-gummies stuff, if somebody could make protein gummies I'd be all set.

Anne forwarded me the following New Yorker piece:

"It's popular to believe that every smoker was brainwashed, sucked in by product placement and subliminal print ads. This argument comes in handy when you want to assign blame, but it discounts the fact that smoking is often wonderful. For people like me, people who twitched and jerked and cried out in tiny voices, cigarettes were a godsend. Not only that; they tasted good, especially the first one in the morning and the seven or eight that came immediately after it."
-David Sedaris, Letting Go-