Open and Closed

You know those little biospheres that were popular once upon a time? Glass bubbles filled with the perfect amount of water, algae, and mini-shrimp to become a self-sustaining ecosystem if provided with a source of natural light? Amazing and kind of crazy right? That's how people gaze upon successful relationships I think.

We marvel at something that can work so perfectly and then try to figure out exactly what parts are needed to create our own successful relationship-sphere. What components do they put into their little glass house so that everything integrates neatly into an indestructible whole? Odds are, you look into your own muckish little bowl and wonder what's going wrong. Which leads me to my next point.

Recently, with the spate of breakups in my social world, it's been even more fascinating to observe how exes interact -- if they do so at all. Usually, exes don't even talk to each other because it's too painful, it's too soon, or it's just too over. But when you see an ex-couple that's capable of not only preserving their friendship but also enhancing it post-relationship, it's like seeing a giant whale-sized biosphere. How is this possible you think? Break-ups aren't supposed to be like this! Where's the animosity? The "issues," the normal tragic turn of events when things are "never the same?"

When two people who were engaged in a serious relationship are able to talk openly and candidly about their new separate lives, isn't that super weird? It's almost too healthy isn't it? Maybe we're just too accustomed to the dysfunction of breaking up so when confronted with the beauty of a non-horrific break up, our reaction has to be one of disbelief and doubt, and maybe only later, appreciation.

And then more disbelief.