something old, something new

craigslist has a posting of "advice to young men from an old man." some of it is interesting, some of it is rubbish, but here's a few i'd like to highlight and reflect upon.

17. don't speak ill of your wife/girlfriend. back her up against the world, even if she's wrong. she should know that you have her back. when she needs your help, give it. she should know that you'll take her part.

i think this is very important. how else can a girl know that you'll defend her at all costs unless you actually do so? my problem here is that i don't think i should have to defend someone if they're wrong. which would make me a very hesitant white knight i suppose; or not a knight at all. ideally, a girl shouldn't even have to ask for defense, it should be provided a moment before she even realizes she needs it.

20. don't bother with "emotional affairs." they are just a vehicle for women to flirt and have someone make them feel good about themselves. that's the part of a relationship they want. for you it is a lot of work and investment in time. if they are having an emotional affair with you, they're probably fucking someone else.

i'll leave this one alone. for the record, emotional affairs are common among both genders and really, don't they just make the day go by?

21. becoming a woman's friend and confidant is not going to get you into an intimate relationship. if you haven't gotten the girl within a reasonably short period of time, chances are you won't ever get her. she'll end up confiding to you about the sexual adventures she's having with someone else.

agree, and agree. if you're going to close the deal, you'd have done it within twelve months. then again, i've seen amazing, logic-defying, instances where persistance wins. i should blog separately about that actually. but yes, for the most part, if you can't get her to like you within a year or so, you're just a friend. give it up.

22. have and nurture friendships with women.

again, 100% agree with this one. why this old man doesn't address the nifty grey area people now tend to live in i'm not sure. perhaps there's no answer to that type of question/dilemma. oh wait, he said friendship, not friend-relationship. gotcha. yeah, have friendships (just friends) with women. it'll help you out in the long run.

and for you doubters out there: yes, girls and boys can be just platonic friends. the caveat being that 80% of guys can't or won't do it.

23. realize that love is a numbers game. guys fall in love easily. you're going to see some girl and feel like you'll die if you don't get her. if she rejects you, move on to the next one. it's her loss.

tragically, this is true. men fall in a love with anything, their problem is acquiring. women have the opposite problem.