a whole new world. i was reading about this guy who moved to the middle east and really loved it there. he found a great job, a great home, and a great girlfriend. he remarked on how refreshing it was that the men were expected to just hang out with the men and the women with the women. there were never any issues about if it was okay to "hang out with the boys." if anything, most social activities were traditionally segregated.

women were also likely to be very happy with their marriage as long as they were supported and taken care of. marriage wasn't seen as a match between two soul mates, but rather a marriage between two people who could help each other. the man provides a house, the woman provides a home. simple. this idea of waiting around for a soul mate can be very taxing (as many of you know) and ultimately, depressing. this young american man rather liked his new life. and i haven't even mentioned the issue of concubines.

the man also had this statement to make, "guys in the states treat their women with no dignity. it's so casual it's demeaning." kind of an interesting statement no? while many american women would surely balk at the traditional (oppressive) way that a woman might be treated in other cultures, this statement illuminated for me an issue that has been brought to my attention recently.

girls nowadays are very often left to fend for themselves. how many young men of our generation are there to open doors, doff coats/hats, rise out of chairs, walk home, and generally treat a woman with even common respect? from what i've heard, there are just as many young men not doing these simple cordial tasks as there are true gentlemen who do them automatically. it used to be standard for men to treat women with a sense of respect. however, as women have fought (and still fight) to be seen as equals, they (unwittingly?) lose their entitlement to the chivalry once afforded them. this is just a theory of course, to be explored further. but i think it rings true.

have women gained equality only to sacrifice the decorum that was once gifted upon them? and if women were to be given this choice consciously, which would they choose? to be treated gently and civilly by men everywhere; or to be treated absolutely equally, with no appeal made for gender, at the cost of a few lonely walks home and a door or two staying unopened?

of course, for any self respecting woman who craves independence and respect on her own terms, the obvious answer here is "equality." but when a girl gets dropped off at home, wouldn't it be nice if, for once, the car full of guys waits until she gets in the front door and signals her safe return before leaving?