it's-a-me, mario! finally, all the time i've spent at a video game company is paying off. i could be in a video game soon. sure i won't be a star, sure the game probably won't be much bigger than a throw in, sure you'd rather see some dead or alive chicks coming out of your console. but hey, i'm in. soon, if all works out great, everyone will be able to play with me. and then all your dreams of being me can come true. oh wait, nobody dreams of being me. oh well.

for the quick photo shoot, we were out in front of the deli where everyone gets their food. it was all good until they asked me to roll up my shorts. "higher please. yup, higher. one more roll please." really? i have to roll my shorts up this high? have you seen my thighs? this is such not a good idea. and then they're like "okay, that's fine. now can you pull them up higher when we shoot? they wear really short shorts in the game." i've never wanted shapely thighs (or shapely anythings) so bad. mortifying.

man, this might be the weakest looking video game character ever.