how to make friends and win over people. what does it take to get people to like you? a little charm, some humor, a few minutes of interesting conversation, an open and inviting facial expression? screw all that. the way to get people to like you is to become a "yes" man. for some reason, we unconsciously respond to positive reinforcement -- can't imagine why. if someone says "yes," we're inclined to like them more. by two people repeatedly saying "yes" back and forth to each other, a wonderful and beautiful cycle of positive energy is created and what do you get? insta-friends.

don't believe me? try it. watch (and listen) in on a pair of people who have just met. don't even bother to note what they're talking about, just see if their return statements tend to agree or disagree with each other. after spying on them for a few minutes, query one or the other about how they feel about their new friend. i'd bet that if their answers to each other's questions and comments were mostly positive, they both leave the conversation with good feelings about the other party. better yet, just try this during your next person to person encounter. nod and say "yes" a lot. see if people start to like you more.

can it be so simple? is getting people to like you really just a game of yes or no? is conversational content, body language and mysterious pheromones overemphasized in our study of interpersonal relationships? i think it is. the way to be liked is to say "yes" all the time. and the way to not seem like a tool is to say "no" once in a while.

personally, i like to stick to a strict diet of three "yes's" to each "no." anything outside of this golden ratio is a gray area and i can't vouch for its success. if you deviate from the 3to1 plan, i really can't help it if people don't like you. i just can't, i'm sorry. well, maybe i'd suggest randomly handing out delicious pieces of candy, but that action could be construed in so many different ways. and nobody should be taking candy from strangers anyway.

the beauty of this strategy for making new friends is that this simple method is reversible, like a good jacket. if you want to be disliked, say lots of "no's" and roll your eyes as often as possible. adding in a few "man, you're really stupids" help too.

coming next week: how to get squirrels and birds to do all of your social dirty work.