oh the places they'll go. have you seen cameron diaz's new show "trippin"? on this mtv exclusive program, ms diaz takes a diverse group of celebrities on globe hopping environmentalist expeditions to places like nepal, chile, butan and honduras. the celebrities have to carry their own bags, they don't get hotel rooms, they skip out on pilates...it's wild how down and dirty famous people can get. of course, they also get to hang out with trained dolphins and see some of the most beautiful places on earth so i'm not sure if they're really devoid of "any luxury." and really, having jessica alba or eva mendes along on a trip is always a luxury -- and to think i've been happy just bringing along my gameboy on trips.

the best part of the show would seem to be the wonderful destinations that cameron and crew get to explore. "their itinerary includes traveling to the glaciers outside of patagonia, sand-boarding in the atacama desert of chile, riding elephant-back in the grasslands of nepal, competing in an archery competition in bhutan and relaxing in the hot springs within the last remaining intact ecosystem in the united states, yellowstone national park." but in reality, the best part of the show is watching eclectic groups of celebrities hang out. chile with drew barrymore, make-up artist gucci westman, farnsworth bentley (who, i'd bet, was forced to carry everyone's bags and umbrellas) and pro skateboarder eric koston? sounds intriguing. eva, redman, blink-182's mark hoppus, and hoppus' wife sleeping with spiders in nepal? whoa, freak out.

the show i watched yesterday featured jessica alba, kid rock, hockey legend chris chelios and pro surfer kelly slater meeting up with coral reef protectors in honduras. basically it was the "how many times will jessica alba appear in a bathing suit" show. but i was above that, i never squinted or stared once. i was more interested in the interpersonal dynamics of the group. how does a semi-random selection of five celebrities get along? do they behave like normal people? are they cool? would i want to hang out with them? i mean, are they worthy of hanging out with me?

it turns out that kid rock is the life of the party and probably someone you'd enjoy travelling anywhere with. he's got guitar game, humor game and says stuff like "please refer to me only as 'the american bad ass' please." chris chelios was the quiet robin to kid rock's batman. jessica was just out of it. her job was to look sexy, pouty and to shield herself from cameras by hiding behind big sunglasses or floppy hats. one could say that she was disinterested in the whole earth day thing but i'd like to think that she's just shy. after all, she was the first one recruited by cameron, due to jessica's "extensive environmentalism experience." ms dark angel has been scuba certified since the age of thirteen -- bet you didn't know that.

and poor kelly slater. he looked like a fish out of water. do you think kelly and kid had some pamela anderson issues going on? i'd like to think so. kelly said nary a word during the episode and it seemed like he was the fifth wheel -- looking lost aside the detroit duo of rock/chelios and the female tanning solidarity of cameron/jessica. i think cameron just invited him along for free surf lessons when they hit costa rica. that's what i woulda done.

the end of the episode featured a gratuitous shower scene where all five celebrities rinsed off in really cold water. totally lost my attention. luckily, new episodes will feature rebecca romijn, justin timberlake, mat hoffman, dmx and other sure to be exciting famous folk. don't miss an episode with your captain planet team leader, cameron diaz, who was apparently just playing herself during all the charlie's angels movies. she really is that quirky and clumsy. but oh so endearing. and she really really cares about the environment.

which four celebrities would you want to see cameron take along on her next trip? that's the question i'll be pondering all week. remember, you have to include at least one obscure semi-celebrity (wife of real celebrity, makeup person, pdiddy's umbrella holder, etc), one extreme sports star and one hot chick. go. alternately, you could just daydream and figure out which four celebrities you would take along on your perfect vacation, *cough*, environmental excursion.

i'll tell you the celebrity i least expect to see on one of these trips: j-lo, jennifer lopez, whatever. there's no way she's carrying her own bags and giving up wearing furs and not having her nipples tweaked by an assistant every five minutes. just no way. the dodo has a better chance of appearing on trippin than j-lo. god i love mtv. now if only they would do an inferno three with real celebrities instead of mtv generated celebrities, that would be awesome.

"paris and mary-kate/ashley (either one or both), since neither of you won the life shield, tonight you'll be facing off in the inferno!"

oh wait, i said real celebrities.