they might be giants. i've read that children, when they begin their chess careers, immediately know how far they are able (and unable) to take their skills. unlike most activities, where hope springs eternal, chess kids know from an early age whether or not they are capable of being a grandmaster. i'm not sure the reasoning behind this, but it's interesting nonetheless. after all, what kid with a basketball doesn't think he'll grow up to become the next michael jordan? why is it that children realize they cannot become the next kasparaov, the next capablanca, even when they've barely scratched their talents? is the answer "honesty?" is it because young chess players realize that they cannot see past a certain barrier when they play? and that as much as they train, they'll never have that magical "it" that'll enable them to advance to the uppermost levels of chess?

i feel like that kid starting out in chess. i see the limits already, even if they are off in the distance. i think as we age, we grow more aware of what we're good at and what we're not. when i see the work of legendary writers (or even above average ones), i know that i'll never be capable of producing that level of work. you don't just become a kundera, a gibran or a calvino. you either have it or you don't.

so what do chess children do when they realize they've reached their upper limit? they stop playing chess of course. they pursue other interests. they take up baseball, math, violin and you know, college. chess becomes a hobby or a skill, they give up hopes of ever becoming a professional. but what happens if they wanted chess to become their profession? simple, they realize they can't. so they give up on that dream and pursue another.

however, what if you want your profession to be something that you can already sense your skill cap? do you quit? do you forge on? do you take solace in the fact that thousands of other people way worse than you have "made it?"

i don't think you encounter this in most industries. when you're in business, rarely do you say to yourself, "well, compared to richard branson and mark cuban i suck, so i'm gonna quit right now." there's a whole lot of leeway for suckage in most industries. actually, this works in every industry i guess. as an artist, you don't have be a van gogh to succeed. in fact, you don't even have to do your own work, you can just ape other artists' styles and "succeed."

so really, what is there to complain about? there is no do without try. so that's what you gotta do, give it the old college try. don't be contained by your inhibitions, use them to free yourself. after all, i'll bet dostoyevsky never had a blog...