your mouth is a temple. dental hygiene, let's talk about it. hygiene in general is very important but dental hygiene isn't just about aesthetics. it's easy to keep your mouth healthy if you use the right products. here i'll show you which products i use and which ones i've deemed the best. yes, i'm that helpful.



toothbrush. start with the basics. a toothbrush is a must. i read once in a dentist's office that the best type of toothbrush to use is a soft bristled one that is small or medium sized. a large brush will not get into the crevices correctly. hard bristles will sack pillage rape your gums and make you bleed, and nobody wants that. proper brushing technique is worthy of a book itself (or at least a long pamphlet) so i'll skip it here but for starters, brush using scrubbing and circular motions. leave no stone unturned, brush brush brush. i recommend brushing three times a day. after each meal and right before and after going to bed. i eat once a day so that adds up to three, it's probably better to brush four to five times depending on how often you eat.



walking down the toothbrush aisle can be a bit intimidating nowadays because of all the crazy colors and designs but i say never spend more than two dollars on a toothbrush. a typical brush will only last a month or so anyway so why spend four dollars for a brush with all the bells and whistles? i personally get my toothbrushes from costco, the six pack of oral-b advantage with control grip which comes in convenient pastel colors to fit your mood. also, it's nice to be able to offer your friend a toothbrush if they stay over. actually, it's even better to just have some disposable single use crap toothbrushes to give away because most friends really aren't worth two dollar toothbrushes. if i give you one from the six pack you know i like you. and it also means i expect you to be around often enough to warrant your own personal toothbrush.



i've seen sonic care, i've heard sonic care, i've seen electronic toothbrushes, i've been pikked to the water. personally, i don't like any of these alternatives. mainly because they don't usually allow you to use toothpaste, and i really like toothpaste. plus the feeling of actually brushing using your own strength and arm motion (note i said arm, not wrist) is kind of key. but some people are lazy and believe in the electronic stuff. do what you gotta do i guess. one last thing about toothbrushes, someone once told me that if you leave your toothbrushes close to the toilet, the flushing will shoot up invisible microbes that will alight on your toothbrush. this is disgusting. keep your toothbrushes far away from toilets and other places of possible high contamination. this is not a joke. these things happen. oh, on the subject of sharing toothbrushes. i've admittedly done it. and i don't have a huge problem with it. but most of the time i'd rather just use the ghetto finger rub technique. email me if you have any questions about this particular technique, that way you won't have to suffer from the public embarassment of not knowing about the most basic of brushes. god gave us fingers for a reason.



shit, one last brushing thing, i promise. periodically brush your tongue. scrub scrub. your tongue is dirty. who knows where it's been. it needs a good scrubbing once in awhile. concerning the tongue, pink is most definitely in this, and every, season.



toothpaste. there is nothing, i repeat nothing, better than colgate 2in1 fluoride toothpaste and mouthwash: icy blast whitening. it may not be the most effective toothpaste, it may do nothing to whiten your teeth, but the fresh feeling is unbeatable. i would recommend this type of toothpaste above all else. sometimes you can switch the flavors up just for a change, if you're feeling crazy, but sticking with this two in one thing is important. try this product, it will not disappoint. personally i am out of this item at the moment and am having to make due with inferior products but soon i will get another bottle. you should too. accept no substitutes.



they make this toothpaste in taiwan called "black person toothpaste." the tube depicts a black man in a top hat smiling with an ultra bright smile. i've tried it, it's not bad. but i don't use it based on principle and political correctness. i wonder when they'll stop using that name.



floss. how many times does the dentist have to tell you to floss before you actually listen? i actually get a sick joy out of flossing. when shit comes unstuck from in-between your teeth? wow, what a grandiose feeling. flossing is simple, quick and efficient. with the state of the art technology that they've invested in floss now there is no reason not to floss. the floss is durable, thin, waxed and cunningly flavored. it glides in and out with the smoothest of transitions. i am of course talking about the glide brand mint floss. this stuff comes in a pleasing package and is also the best stuff on earth, better even than snapple. if you really don't like flossing, go buy an alessi otto floss man and use him to help motivate you. flossing is key after eating lots of meat or itty bitty vegetables. sometimes a piece of food stuck in-between teeth can seriously drive you batty. seriously. do girls carry floss in their handbags? they really should you know. i fixed a toilet once using floss. i tied together the broken chain with a few strategically placed floss pieces. that stuff is strong, and waterproof to boot. i was probably richard dean anderson in another life, it's impressive, i know.



mouthwash. not really a necessity but it's nice to have something to wash everything down with. a little something something to complete your mouth hygiene routine. i've tried many mouthwashes in my day and the conclusion i've come to is this: use what you like, don't let marketing or other people's preferences bully you into choosing something you don't enjoy. for example, i think that listerine is a little too chemically and abrasive so i use scope winter mint. mouthwash kills millions of germs and also prevents gingivitis and plague/plaque and tartar buildup. so many things in just a few gargles? amazing. using mouthwash for the first time can be kind of scary. it burns, it tingles, it tastes funny. but if you slowly work your way up to it, you can swig mouthwash straight out of the bottle after a few days. try mixing the stuff up with some water or coke at first to decrease the potency and the burn but the only real manly way to use mouthwash is on the rocks. take it from me, i'm a veteran.



are you excited yet about your next brushing experience? yeah, i know, you can't wait. but one more thing. gum, mints and breath strips. gum is so key if you are a smoker like me. it takes the edge off the smoker breath and while it rarely eliminates the entire odor, it can at least allow you to blow out a combination of mint and smoke, thereby confusing nearby humans. sure it's not quite as effective as not smoking entirely but you gotta do what you gotta do. i prefer the new dentyne ice style of gum. the ones in convenient aluminum packaging. it keeps the gum fresh and accessible. the old style paper packs just don't do it for me. use only in emergencies. avoid the black ice dentyne flavor because that shit can kill you with too much minty burn. actually, in most instances, i prefer blue mouth items over green or any other color. winter mint, peppermint, it's all good stuff. but this is just a personal preference. feel free to tinker with your own flavors and styles, be creative. i'm against breath strips because those stick to your tongue and leave your mouth with a weird residue. mints are okay, but to me they are more candy than dental hygiene. and tic tacs, let's not even talk about how useless those are in the freshening department. tastes great, less calories but totally useless.



you ask, "jon, why do you know so much about brushing? how did this become such a big part of your life?" the answer is two-fold. i like hygiene. in everything. proper mouth control is just the tip of the iceberg as far as grooming is involved. there's also health reasons tied into brushing but those are boring. the other reason i've made brushing such an integral part of my life is that i think i have genetically weak teeth. some people are blessed with a strong pair of chompers that never fail. yes, we hate those people. me, i've had more cavities than you could count comfortably. it's not because i don't brush or floss enough, it's because of my genes. if there are any doubts, re-read this post to see exactly how fastidious i am about brushing. in conclusion, brush floss gargle and chew your way to a new lifestyle. you may not be able to change much in your life but dental hygiene is something we can all improve upon.