a bouncer named beef and tiny the semi-pro strip dancer. drunkenness on birthdays is expected. mandated even. however, i let my other half enjoy drunken privileges this year. i get to drink lots on the odd birthdays and she gets to kiss the liquor on evens. well no. usually she takes the odds too. i think she's usually drunk on our even AND odd birthdays. and i'm never drunk. something's not right here. just like when she got barbie and i somehow ended up with gay ken. who wants gay ken when you can have accessorizable barbie? *ahem* moving right along.



anyway, i'm a giving big brother, george can take all our allotted "drunk birthday" days. i'll just hold off and be the "responsible" one. this is all bs of course. i don't drink anymore because by now, i don't think i can drink. alchohol isn't much fun anymore. back in the day, walking around on campus, drinking alot was fine and dandy. you could walk around wherever you wanted and just have fun and not worry about anything. but in new york, you had to take the subway home and that was a buzzkill. and in LA, somebody has to drive home. drunkenness is no fun when you have to worry about getting to a safe place. i'm also worried that i'm so heavy that when i pass out, nobody will be able to lift me. i'm very considerate like that. so, i've never passed out.



i also don't get drunk because.....i dunno. i just don't get drunk. rip roaring crazy drunk is not me. it would be interesting but the immediate after-effects of rip roaring crazy drunk is abject miserable puking drunkard. and i hate throwing up. i'm still adverse to soju after i christened kyle's civic. and that was a good year and a half ago. my delicate soul doesn't allow me to get crazy, drunk and pukey. i wonder if drunk people, when they are drunk and get all emotional and lovey-dovey or really really angry, if that's more them. does alchohol temporarily bring down the walls or is it just a socially accepted way to have real conversations? is the mind really free from inhibition when you get alchohol? i feel like it must be, because many people do "crazy" things they would never normally do, when they're rip roaring drunk. but then again, maybe they only do things because they know they can just brush it all off later with a "i was drunk." (on another note, can you hold someone accountable for their drunk actions? not like murder or anything, but if they're drunk and act like an ass, are they simply an ass and it only showed up now? or are they semi-exonerated because they were drunk? justice and morality are at stake here.)



being buzzed is fun though. if there's music. and people around. lots of people that you know and like. or it's fun maybe, when there's just that one special person you would like to know better. but are too shy to actually do anything about without the stench of alchohol fortifying you. i've only been "drunk" twice. and once was terrible, once was fun, but both times, i still felt very much me. well, no. that's not quite correct. that one fun time, me and karina ended up dancing to "oops i did it again" on endless repeat. that's not very me. but hey, close enough.



happy birthday world. let's make twenty four a growing, responsible, productive year. before twenty five hits and we really panic. let's make plans to reconvene in exactly one year and share our exagerrated, imaginary wealth. thanks for the birthday wishes all. danke much.