A new movie theatre opened this past week a block down from Leslie and Karina's apartment. It's a giant Loew's multiplex and they are having free movies as part of their grand opening. Seeing as movies are insanely expensive in the city, any opportunity for a free movie is a good one. The problem is that "free" also equates to "popular" and so i had to stand in line forever to redeem my voucher for tickets. What began early in the week as a plan for all of us to watch a movie turned out into a date for me and Greg to watch The Matrix. We even shared an extra large popcorn and drink (two straws of course). I was dead tired and almost fell asleep during the movie but i bravely struggled through and made it through an extraordinary big screen movie. We were wondering what movie we would want to watch on the big screen...i said maybe Braveheart or the Fast and the Furious. Star Wars would be good but we saw that a few years ago...anyway, going to a free movie was incredibly tiring...at least i can say i did something for free in New York.

I came up with this idea once to save money. Whenever i buy something, i would try to think of the item in terms of how many hours it would take at minimum wage to pay for that item. In that way, i would be able to ask myself whether this item was worth one hour, two hours or fifty hours of my time. Of course...this kind of thinking only works until you get to about eighteen (if even). By that time, you start rationalizing candy bars and McDonald's and nothing seems worthy of four hours of manual labor. I'm starting to think that maybe i should reinstate this kind of thinking though so that i can realize the importance of each item i buy. Of course, since i make no money, any item would seem to be out of reach according to my current scale. Sad. I am Jack's empty wallet.

Great song alert. "Everything" by Lifehouse and "Wherever You Will Go" by The Calling. I'm a little biased because they are both from episodes of Smallville so they have these visual images attached to me but they are great songs nonetheless.



I had a friend who tried to get me to detach my computer from my room in an attempt to shake me out of my "life sucks" doldrums. I couldn't do it. It is the source of almost all of my time suckage but it is also my lifeline to the world. I can't stay away from the sensous curves of the keyboard and the inviting glances shot my way by the sixteen-inch Lolita. It's almost pathetic how many times i hop online to check email, or organize email, or blog, or read a blog, or look up totally useless but interesting things. I think my life would gain so much if i shut down my computer but at the same time i would feel empty and alone. Anyone else have this kind of symbiotic love/hate relationship with their bionic life partner?

Oddly this weekend hasn't been as cold as predicted. But that doesn't mean that i can't still lounge around and pull down the shades and lie down until i'm so tired i must fall asleep. We watched a commentary track on the Fight Club DVD and found out that Helena Bonham Carter has a wonderful speaking voice. Watching the actors interact in a behind-the-scenes commentary track is really interesting because you kind of get a glimpse of them as real people....just cooler. Anyhow, we did venture out into the night for awhile as i took Jennifer to Cafe Lalo's to get some cheesecake and to meet up with Leslie and her sister. We saw Lynn there with her cousins right as we were leaving which was kinda weird because you don't really run into people in New York, it felt like we were just suddenly meeting there. Then again, i feel like we only go to like five places in the city so running into each other shouldn't be that uncommon.



Afterwards came back and had some wine and cigarettes and talked for a long time, about all manner of useless and important things. I saw a video of the way i speak and i realized that i talk like an idiot. I pause every five syllables. My cadences are all wrong. I use "like" every other word. I say "you know what i'm saying?" nearly as often. I'm like (i even write it all the time!) a schizo MTV commercial when i talk. I can't coherently put together a sentence without using "like." I feel like (damn!) everyone should watch themselves speak on camera, you catch so many things. I'm resolving to change and learn to talk like (again!) an intelligent human being. It's a sad day when you look clearly at yourself and a glorified valley girl stares back.

I am declaring a bounty on the head of lynnchen. The person or person(s) who manages to capture and ensnare this ferocious beast into the blogging world will be showered upon with great praise and the title of "Subduer of the Asthmatic Enemy," which is her real name as given by Wu-Names. Along with that awe-inspiring title the Subduer will be presented with a big mug of their choice from our cabinet...unless it is in the dish washer in which case you can't have it because it's dirty. The gauntlet has been thrown. Loose the hounds.



Watch out for her cat sidekick. He bites. And whines.



.:: kinsfolk, although encouraged to participate in the hunt, will receive no credit for a successful capture because they are equipped with too many unethical powers of persuasion. Yes Hongshin...i am talking about you. Subsequently, anyone who gets the afore mentioned self proclaimed "Boba King" to blog receives a hearty round of applause and a firm handshake from the person of their choice ::.

We are approaching the pinnacle of blogger evolution. When you can start playing "Six Degrees of Kevin Bacon" with blogs then you know that incredible things are happening in the world. When blogging circles start independently of one other and then end up linking together you get.....a bigger blog circle. And when that all links back to gomakross.org (the mothership of the blogging universe as far as i'm concerned), which was the very first blog site my virgin eyes saw, well...it's like flying back to the dawn of time and watching man evolve from a little feral monkey. I feel like Darwin. Blogging circles united. I am bursting with fruit flavor.



Thanks to -oO7- for investigative contributions and to -pogiboy- and -superlum- for reaffirming my faith in the healing powers of blog. I feel that the next logical target for blogger world domination would have to be -porta- and -lynnwc-. Resistance is futile -lynnwc-. Given enough pressure even an egg will crack. Blogging is as inevitable as world peace and Boba King. Ok...i am way too excited.

Walked around the Village today and wandered down random streets taking in the city and stopping in the occasional shop. Jennifer was pretty amazed by the pageantry of New York (the colors and variety of the views) while i was just like, "this is gray." But i guess it's nice to be reminded that New York is this amazing unique place and to once again look upon everything with a stranger's eyes. Gave Jennifer the five cent tour (Union Sqaure, Barnes and Noble, dinner at Republic) that me and Lynn have developed before we headed off to find the Fight Club DVD (rated the #1 DVD by Entertainment Weekly). We went to three different places in "the city that has everything" and we couldn't find it in stock. Big chains like Virgin, Coconuts and Sam Goody were all out. Jennifer really wanted to watch it so we had to conduct an extensive hunt for one elusive copy of this DVD that came out a year and a half ago. We finally found it at the DVD Palace in Times Square. I must go enjoy the fruits of my labor now. Did i mention that it's freezing out here?

Jennifer is here from Chicago visiting for the weekend. I haven't seen her in forever and i can't even think of the last time we got a chance to hang out. Anyhow, she is here and our plans are to bum and stay out of the cold weather. Tonight we ended up watching some of the videos she has made of her friends and for her video art class. She has this one video of a friend talking where the friend's raw essence just comes pouring out in a few minutes onscreen. It was amazing because most people are really inhibited or different in front of the camera but you could just see and understand the type of person she was because she fully let herself be captured. The weird thing was that she was amazingly fidgety and nervous in the first few minutes but then she puts on this Venetian mask and she just...transforms. Pretty dope. I of course pulled out my dance videos, music videos and spring break videos full of silly people to show her. I am inspired to capture essences of people. So don't run from me when i come calling.



I also happened upon this video that i made one week into freshman year for friends back home. On it i show them Michigan and my dorm and everything else and then i conclude with this final "looking in the camera" speech that is just depressing and sad. With my big floppy hair i'm sitting on a chair telling them that Michigan is okay but not necessarily great and that i miss them and everything. It's funny how a few years can change things so much. I talked really stupid then too, with weird Chandler-like inflections on random words. I was much tanner though.

I was talking to someone last night about things that we think we could do, as far as career wise, regardless of skill or education. We're both suffering mid-life crisises (i argued for quarter-life but she's right in pointing out that being in the twenties really is mid-life because who cares what happens when you're past your fifties?). Anyway, i thought that perhaps i would be fulfilled being involved in social activism, or perhaps in politics. But the sad thing i stumbled upon was that regardless of how much i care about certain issues, i don't really care enough to do something about them. I would want to get into activisim or politics for the act of doing it, the act of making change. Obviously i would want to do something i believe in but i am not moved by any of the various plights of man enough to fight for one. Inequality? Injustice? Racism? Sexism? Whatever-isms? I care about all these things but getting passionate about these issues isn't within me. It's almost like i'm interested in all these things from an academic standpoint but i am not moved enough to take action. I'm not sure if that is because of my conflicting Randian and altruistic philosophies or what. Either way, it was kind of disheartening.

Not really...you're the one who has to work and support the two of us...i'm pretty much free to lounge around at will.

Doesn't all this want to make you cry and jump off a low two-story balcony?

I for one blame Adam Smith and the division of labour for making us all into cogs and automatons.

How can anyone expect to settle upon a career in which we do the same thing over and over for twenty years? It's impossible. Right now the whole prospect of a career pretty much scares everyone i know. Nobody told me that the post-college years were going to be the ones where you were truly lost...isn't that what college was for?

Everyone wants a cause to fight for and a reason for living. It's sad isn't it when you realize that "special" really does mean only the top 10%. Not everyone can be special...heck, half of us are just barely average.

This is something that is frightening to realize. We all come out of college looking for a fulfilling job that we can throw ourselves into. Graphic designers want to create amazing things...architects want to design beautiful buildings...psychologists want to help people...engineers want to create marvels of modern technology...business people want to make money...philosophers want to sit around and think. But outside of business people sometimes, we really can't get what we want. Everyone feels like they are "special" coming out of college and they want to make a difference and find that perfect job. When you look at the numbers game and you look at the realities of our current day situation, just about everyone will be hemmed into a job that only requires mindless monotony.



And this isn't only because we are inexperienced and young. I forsee this happening forever. Lucky are the few who get to pursue their dreams and to find a job that engages them. Look at our parents...i don't see them doing things that they necessarily have a passion for. When they came up in the world their dreams were perhaps different but it's incredibly depressing to me to realize how mundane the world is and how many people are forced into mundane lives to preserve our financial independence.

Do you know how depressing it is looking for work? When you have no marketable skills? I'm applying to jobs that run the gamut from "PT Sales!" to "Management Trainee!" I have no idea what i would be selling or managing but really, if they accept me and actually call then they can't be the smartest people in the world can they? Right now i only have a few no's: i'm anti-food industry (except for maybe coffee), i'm anti-manual labor, i'm anti-getting yelled at, i'm anti-i'll have to work with people with the intelligence quotient of a small monkey. Besides that i'm pretty much ready to do anything. My dream job now that would allow me to be flexible and organize my life would be to work at Borders (actually, the only Borders i know was crushed in the WTC, i saw the sign dangling in the backround on TV once) or Barnes and Noble. This is how far i've come in four years of college. Barnes and Noble won't even call me! If anyone has the hookups to a bookstore in the Manhattan area, help me out. You can even tell them i'm still in high school...i don't have much pride. I'm hoping to answer this all important question: How low can you really go?

In the "this is the hottest thing since sliced bread category," this guy has created a simple code to be inserted into your template so that people can comment back on your posts. It's incredibly easy. I did have to change the font though but who cares really. Go to Blog Back ASAP. Also, someone apparently made a Blogger Bot for posting using AOL's AIM service. I'm not sure how useful it is but it's still pretty damn cool. If any of my constituents want to install the Blog Back thing email me and tell me and i can do it for you. It's heartwarming to know that some people in this world are obviously making good use of their spare time.

Today was a big sports day for me...well, fantasy wise. See, being the big bum that i am, i have to live vicariously through fantasy basketball and football. Anyhow, to cut this interesting garble short....i won in football and got the first pick in the basketball draft (which i used to select the great Kevin Garnett). There's something about playing fantasy sports that just engages your mind and makes you stare at little rows of numbers for hours on end...fulfilling every hearty male's dream of running a pro team. Yeah, i have no life but what little energy i have i thrown whole heartedly into little triumphs that make me glow on the inside but take me no closer to the long run goal of making money. Wish me luck on a good season.

Another night on the town, luckily all the places we went tonite had no cover so i didn't spend any money except for a few beers and a cab or two. Leslie's friends from Maryland where here and some other random people so we all met up at Street Bar in Alphabet City. I love Alphabet City because it's the home of the Nuyorican and a lot of nice little hip hop lounges but it takes forever to get to and the place is a little sketchy. Anyhow, when we first got into the bar the music was pretty wack but we were forced to stay awhile to wait for everyone to gather. By the time everyone came it had been an hour and we went off to Bar XVI in search of some hip hop but there was a huge line outside so we had to wait on the corner (as all big groups do) and decide where to go next. Luckily Grace knew this place called Shampu around the corner and it was playing hip hop and reggae. It was really crowded at first but they opened up a loungy area downstairs so all of us went down and basically had the place to ourselves to sit and dance. That along with a couple of beers made an otherwise average night into a B- night.



I hate taking the PATH on the weekends after going out. Invariably, any fun you've had for the past few hours is sucked away by the half hour wait for a train to take you to Hoboken and then Newport/Pavonia. This in itself pretty much drains your energy and by the time you get home and shower you're totally drained and exhausted. I need to start sleeping over in New York more...that could make clubbing better.

The past two nights have been salmon nights. As in, i ate salmon. On Thursday we went out to celebrate Winnie's bday (which was on the 8th of Oct) and met up at this place on the Upper East side called Atlantic Grill. As befitting a nice seafood restaurant this place was expensive so i dropped a bit of money but had a really good time. Winnie, Greg, Louis, Carol and I are like the Birthday Club. Although we try to hang out every once in awhile we only end up meeting around somebody's birthday. The last time we all saw each other was in May for Greg's birthday. Anyway, i had the salmon which was excellent. Um, because i was running late i was trying to catch a cab and this guy driving a shuttle van pulled over and i got a ride with him all the way up to 72nd for five bucks which was kinda cool. I used to think all these "pseudo" cab services were kinda sketchy but i realize that they're probably just trying to make money and won't kill me or anything.



Anyhow, for Salmon Night Part Deux we went out to an Indian-American fusion restaurant for Hong's Bday (Oct 11) called Tabla. It was a very very fancy place with dark wood and low lighting. It's Restaurant Week in New York so there are prix-fixe dinners for $30.01. We had choices of salmon or rabbit so obviously i chose the salmon. I don't know how many of you out there like raw fish but one of the best things to eat is blackened salmon that is seasoned and crisp on the outside but raw and fishy on the inside. Delicious. The stuff just melts in your mouth. Tabla got a 25 on Zagat but i personally didn't think it was nearly that good and the decor kind of made everyone feel woozy and nauseous. Still, it was a pretty good dinner, replete with appetizer and dessert. So, after two splendid nights of eating in the city i am now about a hundred dollars poorer but it was all for a good cause.

Since obviously i have no life outside of watching TV and slumming on the couch let me fill you in on what i've watched today. Note also that i've been up since before noon so this whole "upward mobility" thing is working....slowly. Basically i watched the tape of Smallville that Lynn was nice enough to tape for me. I'm not exactly a huge Superman fan but having seen the previews for this show i was pretty damn excited to watch the show. It actually isn't that bad. It's not the greatest show on Earth but i liked how they worked into the whole Superman story and showed you glimpses of who he'll be in a few years. It's set in modern day in a small town (or rather, a ville) and it shows Superman as Clark Kent the teenager. I'm not too thrilled with the weak "action" scenes but i guess they have to do something since he's a superhero. The actors were all really good and i wasn't cringing watching them spout off horrible lines (as happened recently with Dawson's Creek). Actually, the only reason i'm really blogging about the show is because the girl that plays Lana on the show is HOT!!! I mean that in every way possible. Kristen Kreuk. She's half-Chinese. She's amazingly good looking. I don't get to say that often so i'll say it twice. She's amazingly good looking. Ok, that's it. Watch the show, if only for her.



Another example of the truism..."Asian people are hot"...if only in half doses.

Watched this documentary on the Histroy Channel about the World Trade Center and got an in-depth glimpse into the genius that went into the building and construction. Here are some quick highlights: The WTC was structurally innovative because instead of the box-on-box method of skyscrapering it used a technique that pulled it's strength from the outside "skin." This in effect allowed the WTC not to topple over when the planes hit it. Eerily enough one of the people they interviewed said that the WTCs were built to withstand the impact of a 707 jet (the biggest one at the time, the 911 ones were 767s). He is now presumed missing...which they detailed in a graphic at the upper left hand corner each time he spoke. Morbid and tasteless. But moving on.



Think of the WTC as two giant stalks of celery to imagine it's support structure. There are over 250 elevators in the WTC and another innovative system was used to transport everyone up and down in a timely fashion. Stealing an idea from the subway system, the WTC has local and express elevators in-between zones which effectively meant you had to switch trains once to get anywhere. This brilliant idea got everyone up and down much quicker. Except of course, in the event of an emergency. Another amazing piece of machinery was constructed to wash all the windows on the WTC. Oh, the windows were made about shoulder width to provide a sense of comfort. It takes a whole month for each one of the towers to be cleaned by this machine. It was operated by one man who is also missing since 911.



Other random but useless facts: Each floor of the WTC was an acre. All the dirt excavated for building the foundation of the WTC was used to build 70 feet of landfill which is now Battery Park. The WTC had the largest indoor mall in Manhattan. The goal of the WTC was to create a mini-metropolis where people could work, eat, shop, take trains home and never have to be outdoors. People are now debating what we should build after the rubble is cleared...a replica, another monumental building, or a memorial. Yeah...let's build a memorial. Please.

Had dinner tonight with my god sister. I'm sitting there about to order my hamburger and she shows me a hand...with an engagement ring on it. What the heck? I was a little skeptical for awhile and had to ask some questions to make sure that i wasn't getting played but she is for sure engaged. Quite a shock to my system i must say. Apparently everyone else knew about it but me (thanks for telling me George) and it's been over a month now. Jessica's only a year older than us and last time i talked to her she was blissfully single and now she's engaged! I was happy for her of course but i'm stunned and still a little bit weirded out. Well, not really weirded out, just mainly stunned. Her boyfriend is in China and they dated this summer and now they are on the road to marriage. She's flying out tomorrow to go to China for a week and from there she'll have my parents meet him. My mom must be so excited....



Um, i was supposed to go watch Jessica play the harp this afternoon at a concert but i was stupid and overslept, thus missing the entire thing. Bad. She's having a big concert at Carnegie Hall in April though so i'll make it up then.

Hong is gone. Pam is gone. Everyone is gone. I'm finally alone. Which basically means i'll be sitting in front of my computer for hours on end for the next couple of days....doing nothing and job searching....which means basically doing nothing.

Big day today. Woke up at four when Mandisa and Amit came over...struggled to wipe the sleep from my eyes while they played Dance Dance Revolution. Amit is a star at that game, no doubt. Watching him rhythmically dance to a game that i am hopelessly lost at is inspiring. Got to go to Jamba Juice! That pretty much was the highlight of the day. Introduced Mandisa to Jamba Juice and luckily she loved it so we didn't have to hit her. After a quick dinner it was still only nine o'clock so we had the whole night ahead of us. Went over to Amit's apartment for awhile, watched some SNL (most of which was terrible) and then got a slice of pizza from what is apparently the best pizza place in New York. Karina raves about it constantly and it's Mandisa and Amit's pizza place. It's called Nicky's Pizza i believe and it was seriously pretty damn good. Beautiful thin crunchy crust with just enough chewiness to the cheese. Excellent.



Dropped by a bar called Turtlebay to see Randall real quick and the place turned out to be really nice. We were just talking about finding a cool chill little bar or lounge or something to call our own and this looks like it could be a candidate. For one it's really big and so wasn't super super crowded. There are three floors and they have a giant TV screen that was playing The Phantom Menace (a plus) and on the second floor there was a little bit of space to dance. No cover of course, another bonus. There is a fireplace on that second floor and lots of comfortable looking couches and cushions. It kinda almost looks like the cafe in Friends a little bit, as far as the decor. Anyway, it was nice. The music wasn't great the whole time but they rotated into some hip hop for like fifteen minutes which gives me hope for better songs in the future. Definitely will have to go check it out again.



To finish the big day, met up with Karina and Dave in K-Town in anticipation of meeting up with Pam and Co. They got there a little late so for awhile it was just the three of us sitting around drinking yogurt soju, which we all agreed tastes just like the Taiwanese drink Yan-Luh-Duo. Pam and Saloni arrived with huge big shopping bags in tow after an apparently fruitful day of shopping. Got to meet Pam's identical twin sister which was pretty interesting. They are very different i think...in pretty much every respect as far as i can tell. It's cool though to meet twins and talk to them and see exactly where they differ. Anyhow, after a bit at Blue we left and now i'm here, up at the crack of dawn yet again. This early morning sleeping habit can't continue.

Book club meeting. Lord of the Rings. Book One. At Yama Sushi. This book has taken all summer to finish and i can safely say that only two of us finished the book...when i say us i don't mean me because i didn't finish the book in time. Sad. The meeting itself was really fun though, as they always are. We got huge piles of sushi and then tried to intelligently talk about a book that everyone was in various stages of reading. It was pretty easy to get sidetracked and start talking about the upcoming movie and then segway into a totally random conversation not involving books but i guess that's the beauty of our book club. We're a book club composed of non-readers who gather for the purpose of eating and entertainment.



We went to go watch Iron Monkey afterwards and that was really really good. I expected people to be rude and stuff like they were at Crouching Tiger but there was nary a snicker when people flew from rooftop to rooftop. The movie was definitely one of the best martial art films i've seen and it is sort of a prequel to all of the other movies involving Wong Fei-hong. There was just fighting fighting and more fighting broken up by short spurts of plot. Perfect. The little boy in the film is played by a girl and i didn't know that until after so that was kinda interesting. With this mass exodus of martial art movies into the US and the subsequent public acceptance of them, i wonder if that is only negatively reinforcing the Asian image we've had for so long. Of course we're "breaking through" in entertainment right now but all of that success is hinged upon using martial arts as our entry pass. That isn't exactly very different from the acceptance we've engendered up to this point. If you get a chance, go read Beau Sia's poem "the asians are coming, the asians are coming."

Early this morning Pam and four friends drove in from Michigan in a big white Eddie Bauer Limited Edition Explorer. License plates: OH CMSA (which stands for Cowboy Mounted Shooting Association. I kid you not). Five crazy girls drive driving from Michigan to New York for one quick weekend. Nuts. They parked the car at Avalon because they didn't want to drive in the city so me and Hong ended up driving in and dropping them off at their various destinations. First of all, Hong did his usual "i'm a superstar" driving and pretty much freaked out Sonja (whose car it was) by cutting off mad cars and getting into at least three "we're about to die moments." Sitting shotgun while riding with Hong in the city is not for the faint of heart. On top of this the car was making funny gasping noises from the front and by the time we had dropped everyone off the car was shuddering and creaking and the brakes were squealing. The whole thing sounded like it was going to fall apart and we couldn't figure out what could possibly be wrong. The brakes produced a smell of metal on metal and it was perilous driving back and forth in a barely still together contraption. We took it into the local Pep Boys this morning and it turns out the rear brake pads needed replacing and a screw was missing in the front, thus causing the car to shudder and gasp. It will be fixed soon though so the car will hopefully run beautifully all the way back to Michigan.



On another note, got to drive by Ground Zero and saw all the streets blocked off and all the cops everywhere. The craziest thing was the smell from the still smoldering rubble. That was pretty trippy and even though we couldn't get that close to the wreckage it was an experience to drive through lower Manahttan sans September 11th.

Watched Survivor tonite after a lengthy fourty minute lecture by G W Bush. I was just waiting and waiting for "Must See TV" Friends and Survivor to come on but Bush just kept on rambling. Am i shallow for wanting to fast forward through his big important speech to satisfy my lesser entertainment needs? Anyhow, it was cool to watch Kelly on TV and i must say that i love Survivor. I don't know that many people who watch it besides Greg, Lynn and Hong but right now i'm addicted. It's actually risen over Friends as Must See TV. I'm not even sure why it's so great but maybe the fact that it's the original reality series and that Survivor intrigue captivates our nation's imagination and i don't want to miss out. Either way, watch it so we'll have something to talk about. Go.

Taking a little cart over to Shop Rite and getting groceries by yourself, for the sole purpose of feeding yourself, is just about the loneliest task imaginable. There is no "what kind of *blank* do you want?" It's just grab the quick food essentials and bolt out of the store so i don't have to be grocery shopping alone. The essentials are basically this: a couple of pears, one pack of turkey, spaghetti sauce, three cans of Dole chunk pineapples, one can of Dole peaches, one big thing of milk, cheap chicken breasts, one green pepper and then some Triscuits to snack on. Add a few things into the mix and you've got my weekly grocery list. Pretty nutritional life i lead eh? I haven't cooked cooked in forever...i think i'm gonna have to start going into cooking mode again.

Let's hope we're not doing the same thing next year in October eh?

What can i say i guess. One year older. Met some new friends. Wasted some more money. Gathered a community of bloggers. Sad how that could be my single most notable achievement over the past twelve months...blogging. I guess i'll celebrate it by putting up some archives (over there on the right in case you missed it) so that everyone can see how much my life has remained on auto-pilot.

Yes...it's kind of funny how life goes cyclically. I feel like i'm at a very similar spot as i was last year at this time.

Hate to tell you this buddy but that's not a circle you're walking in...it's a rut.

At least you've accomplished some things. Nothing worthwhile of course. Last year you had a plan and now you have another plan...sort of.

You're right actually. It's like i'm traveling back in time...i'm regressing. If anything i'm more confused now that i was last October. Joy.

Not much to look at is it? At least last year at this time you had a job. What you got now?

I scrolled down to the very bottom of my blog page and noticed that i have been blogging for exactly a year and six days. My blogger is now one year old and i have the luxury of looking over my life for past year.

I am so sick of New York. The people bug me. It hit me yesterday, walking through a K-Mart looking for Leslie, that "shopping in a K-Mart shouldn't be like this!" People were down every aisle..the place was packed and people ran around bumping into each other. The people working there are either entirely unhelpful or very rude. And if they're not one or the other, they just tell you an answer...any answer, preferably the wrong one. The same thing happens all over the city. The service in McDonald's is atrocious. It's like you ask someone for "little crunchy things on the fruit parfait PLEASE" and they stare at you in shock that you would ask such a thing. New York people are wack.



I'm not used to slumming it up with the dregs of society (and i mean dregs in the nicest way possible). In San Diego you get to drive around in your own car and you are not forced to interact with anyone you don't want to. Here...people are everywhere and they all have attitude and many of them are just straight up nasty (in all senses of the word). Maybe i'm too soft for New York but the toil of running errands or walking from block to block pushed by the masses of people behind you is not my idea of fun. There is culture, there is a great night life, but being in the city is just depressing to me. I wonder if i just pretend to be tired sometimes so i don't have to bother dealing with the city.

The world is going to the pits (as Palak would say). The US has finally retaliated and now the terrorists are telling everyone in America to live in fear. As Osama said, "As long as the Muslim people live in fear, so too shall the US." (That was highly paraphrased by the way) While this is shocking and monumental, i can't really say how it affects my life yet until something bad happens...so i sit on my couch and continue to waste my life away watching my fantasy football players crap away any chance of a victory for me this week.



Luckily, i escaped into the freezing New York air to enjoy dinner at a new spot (at least for us) called Zen Palate. It's a vegetarian place that is Asian themed. When we first got in, we automatically liked the place alot because of the decor and the prices. Karina wanted to go to this place for the yam fries and true to her word the yam fries were quite excellent. The appetizers were all really good so i was pretty excited about the food. I got something called "Rose Petals." The food went a little downhill after the yam fries however, culminating in the most interesting dessert experience of my life. I got the scrumptious sounding "Almond Tofu Cheesecake" and expected it to taste like the best thing in the world. Instead...as we tasted it...our faces scrunched up in confusion. You get hit with the slight feel of almond tofu at first but then it slowly dissolves to leave a wheaty, germy kind of feel. "I don't mind it" was how Amit put it but it was definitely not good at all. We just sat around looking at each other and laughing at our reactions to the dessert. That alone made it a night for me. I think we're gonna give Zen Palate another try at some point because although it wasn't great tonite, me and Lynn both see the inherent potential in it's menu.

Karaoked for a good three hours tonite. Yes, three hours. That's a lot of singing and screaming. Combined with the cigarettes i've been indulging in, my voice is shot. One rule of karaoke: rap songs sound fun until you actually try them. We tried to do Busta's "Put Your Hands..." but the beat was so horrible that it took all the fun out of it. Also, PM Dawn's "Patient Eyes" is no good either. Beyond that, the night was really fun. Victor and his girlfriend Helen came out with us...a friend of Leslie and Karina's, named Dave, came out too. We met up at Saint Alp's for a quick buo ba pitstop and then had dinner at an Irish pub which was...pub-like. We tried to inject some hip hop into the jukebox but when our Fugees and Lauryn Hill came on we couldn't hear anything anyway. The city is quickly running out of entertainment for me. Beyond the clubbing, the lounges, the bars (which are all the same thing anyway), the karaoke, the food...there is nothing that you can do on a consistent basis. Oh, and our little foray into the city for five hours cost me an astounding $40. New York is great. Come visit.

Today was the day the chicks left the nest. Yes, Karina and Leslie are moving today. They have IKEA furniture, 99 cent plates and nice wooden floors...they are on the path to adulthood. Their apartment is very nice and it is very cheap and the location is pretty good (34th and 9th). Louis came by this morning to grab their stuff and now they are officially moved in and my room is once again mine. The little pile of clothes dubbed "Karina's Corner" is no more. It's a pretty sad day but i guess life must go on. I have to say that my bathroom will now be shed free however (KouK has ALOT of hair).

Early this morning my computer was raped, sacked and plundered by a virus. And the worst of it was that it was i who opened the gates that allowed the filthy barbarians in. My JPGs and MP3s had been written over and destroyed. The virus was going into my Outlook address book and replicating itself and then spreading to the world with the innocent "Joke(fwd)" as a subject heading. I fell as prey because i fully trusted the person who gave it to me (name withheld to protect the innocent) so i was filled with fear that i would be the cause of a computer virus outbreak. Luckily, the virus was stupid and couldn't replicate itself with my address book so the only one fucked over was me.



After a few hours of reading about the dreaded "Love Bug" virus, i decided that i needed to try and retrieve my files. The stupid thing is that i have an anti-virus program but i had turned it off a few minutes before to conserve memory. Lucky me. I dropped $150 dollars on a program called OnTrack Easy Recovery and after hours of letting it diagnose my hard drive, i was informed that i couldn't recover files into my C: drive because it was contaminated. And because i only had one partition in my hard drive (no, i barely know what that means either) i had to hook up another hard drive or re-install Windows...neither of which i was willing to do. In the end, i decided to cut my losses and delete all my contaminated files. I then discover that my 1400 MP3s were all still there, albeit hidden. All i had to do was fiddle with some settings to make them show up. So, the whole reason for me buying the recovery program was moot.



$150 poorer but ultimately wiser i have these words of caution for the uneducated. (1) Get an anti-virus program and update it often (2) Never open an attachment unless you know what it is, especially if it's from someone who would normally not be e-mailing you (3) Use a Mac because they are less likely to get viruses (4) I'm an ass and i'm ranting and raving about a minor stumbling block while the world prepares to go to war.

It must feel so nice to be an optimistic dimwit. I'd rather start with the premise that all men are evil and be pleasantly surprised from time to time.

You take it how you want but i'm just gonna use it to remind myself that people are inherently much more complex than they let on. And to move towards unraveling that complexity.

The important thing to remember here is that you should never be fooled by a person's exterior. And that you can also construct an false exterior for your own diabolical needs if you are so inclined.

That certainly puts a different spin on it. I guess in a way we're both talking about the same thing. I just kind of took it as inspiration to always strive to be one of the few who know what people really are like...i just took that last line as a statement on little effect a minority opinion has. I do think what he says is very true, about how it is so much easier to see and make a judgement, as opposed to actually opening up your mind and "feeling."

Being a tad more cynical and taking into context that Machiavelli was talking about ruling a nation, i kind of think that what he's saying is that people are easily fooled. By presenting and maintaining an image, you can hide whatever it is you want to hide and be whatever it is people want you to be...thus tricking people into believing what they want to see.

Well, i kind of take as meaning that everyone has this facade that they show the world and only a few bother to go beyond that first couple of layers. And also that most people aren't equipped to handle more than those first couple of superficial layers. Not that those initial layers have to be superficial but i kind of think that whatever public face people present, there's always something deeper going on.

Ok, what does that mean?

"Men in general judge more by the sense of sight than by the sense of touch, because everyone can see but only a few can test by feeling. Everyone sees what you seem to be, few know what you really are; and those few do not dare take a stand against the general opinion."

-Niccolio Machiavelli, The Prince-

"Go into yourself. Find out the reason that commands you to write; see whether it has spread its roots into the very depths of your heart; confess to yourself whether you would have to die if you were forbidden to write. This most of all: ask yourself in the most silent hour of your night: must I write? Dig into yourself for a deep answer. And if this answer rings out in assent, if you meet this solemn question with a strong, simple 'I must,' then build your life in accordance..."

-Rainer Maria Rilke-

In a groundbreaking night of entertainment, i was lucky enough to attend the taping of Russell Simmon's Def Poetry Jam, to be shown on HBO in the near future. Obviously i've been trying to see as many quality spoken word poets as possible and a brilliant idea such as this was irresistable. I've seen Def Comedy Jam alot so i was pretty excited to witness the beginnings of something that would fuse mass entertainment and poetry together. I have to thank Leslie for this unique opportunity because she heard about it through work and took the time out to organize everything and to get tickets. Me, Les, Karina and Randall went to the early showing while Louis, Angie, Peggy and Deanna went to the later one.



The Jam was held at the Supper Club and the venue was pretty nice, if somewhat stifling and hot. We could only stand and at first we were stuck behind some poles but luckily we moved to right behind the control booth. It was interesting to watch an actual HBO production and realize how much work is involved on the part of the tech crew to put an event like this together. It's something that i would have liked to maybe pursue as a job a few months ago but now it's just a cool thing that i'm interested in. Because the Jam was for TV, any mistakes could be re-shot and re-edited, which made it quite different than watching a live event.



Moving on to the exciting part of the night. Before we even entered, we saw a silver Navigator parked out front and Randall pointed out the man himself, Russell Simmons, poking his head out of the backseat. Russell Simmons!!! Five feet away!!! Once inside, we were treated to a pair of poems from maybe ten different poets. Some of them i knew, some of them i had never heard of. Some of the poetry wasn't exactly poetry or slam but all of it was amazing and poignant. And funny...many of the poems were hilarious as hell. The first poet to grace the stage was Taylor Mali, who i'd seen in the SlamNATION video. He did a poem about spell checkers and another about the importance of teachers. That second poem was probably my favorite of the night...it began with someone asking him "what do teachers make?" and ended with a last line of "teachers make a difference...what about you?!?" The last poet was Doctor Sandra Somebody who was apparently very famous and well respected in the community. Her last poem was a little weird but hey, she's old.



A few celebrities also graced the stage. Mos Def was the MC for the night so i got to see him do his thing from afar (he messed up alot, causing a large number of reshoots)...i would like to say that Mos Def just personifies cool...and his voice is dope too. Dave LaChappelle was one of the poets and then the kicker of the night was when Jewel dropped in to do some of her poems. Jewel!!! Her poetry isn't the greatest stuff on Earth but she is an amazing artist. Mos said that the next poet had sold "23 million albums" and so i was thinking maybe it was Lauryn Hill or something but having Jewel come out was just as good. All in all, the night was one of those unique nights that could really only happen in New York. Def Jam. Russell Simmons. Mos Def. Jewel. Poetry. Perhaps the pinnacle of my cultural experiences in New York thus far.



One note: I was waiting all night for Beau Sia but he never got on stage. Apparently he was on Monday but the shows were different each day so we didn't get to see him blow the house up. I was a little disappointed. Ah well. Oh, and i could of almost been on HBO because some guy asked me to say something about the show afterwards but the line was long, the place was hot and i had nothing earth-shattering to say so i saved my five seconds of cable tv fame for a rainy day.

In some "I know them!" news: George told me a couple of days ago about this girl who went to our high school, Kelly Goldsmith, who is now on Survivor: Africa. She was a year younger so i didn't really know her but because our private school was so little i knew who she was. It'll be pretty interesting to watch her because i'm a Survivor addict. It's weird but tiny La Jolla Country Day has produced a Heisman player (Rashaan Salaam who played for Colorado) and now a Survivor contestant. This can only mean my stock is rising.



Also, i was reading Entertainment Weekly's special "Friends" issue and i noticed that this actress, Alison La Placa, had a recurring role as Rachel's boss who wanted to get with Chandler. The only episode i remember her in was the one which she has Chandler in handcuffs in her office without any pants on while she's away at a meeting. Anyhow, me and George met her a long time ago (i would say 1986-ish) at a flute convention with my dad because she was the daughter of one of his friends. I remember taking pictures with her and getting an autograph, all the while wondering "who is this?" Apparently, she's not very well known but is very critically acclaimed and has had the bad luck of being in terrible sitcoms for over a decade. I think i'm going to send her a fan letter just so she feels special and appreciated. I looked up her address online and she lives in Melrose. No, i'm not crazy. I'm just spreading love...in a scary and roundabout way.