oyster world. are spoiled kids real kids? when you grow up with a platinum spoon in your mouth, should you be hated on just because your parents give you whatever you want? just the other day i heard from a kid in high school about how he went to a dance in his date's escalade. he wasn't ecstatic about the escalade as much as he was impressed by another kid's 350z -- with suicide doors. these kids are like seventeen, and they attend a public high school in san diego. the kid i heard this from is a family friend i've known since he was born -- and he's pretty down to earth -- but you can't help but be impressed by suicide doors. i guess you can't escape the fact that at nearly every school, tales of ridiculous spoilage will abound.

or if you don't know what i'm talking about, you could watch mtv's "my super sweet sixteen." this show supposedly "takes you behind the scenes as teens prep for the party to end all parties. will jealous siblings, stressed out parents and school rivals get in the way? step into a world that isn't always as sweet as it seems." that's not what the show is about. what the show is really about is spoiled rich kids (as opposed to spoiled poor kids) throwing quarter million dollar sweet sixteen birthday parties for themselves. the only world you step into is one where parents think any amount of money is worth exchanging for their child's love and attention -- however temporarily. the kids say things like "i will never settle for anything less than a range rover." and then they pout and get upset when they don't get what they want, like a cleavage baring dress, or a tennis court party venue.

i've only seen two episodes of this show but already i'm determined to watch it whenever it's on. the extravagance is ridiculous. parents are flying with their kids to paris to shop for dresses, flying to miami for a getaway weekend. this is on private jets no less, we're not talking coach or priceline. the young man who wants to throw himself a party at a tennis court goes to look at maybachs to get himself to that party. maybachs costing above four hundred thousand grand. are you kidding me?

and i love watching the parents. they are really proud of the fact that they can afford everything for their children. and really, why shouldn't they be? if you were a gazillionaire, wouldn't you want the best for your children? sure you run the risk of spoiling them but who cares? you're rich!

the kids are of course, hilariously spoiled and utterly ridiculous. they gripe and moan about things not working out. they pretend like they rule the world, and in a sense, they do. but you can't blame the kids, they were raised this way. who wouldn't think they owned the world if they've gotten everything they've ever wanted? restraint and humility can be learned at any age, why force feed it to kids now when they don't need it? and being spoiled is really just a matter of comparison.

you can be spoiled if you have running water. you can be spoiled if you use disposable lunch bags. being spoiled is just having more than your peers, isn't it? heck, i was spoiled for most of my life. what's the difference between demanding a range rover and a ford contour? what's the difference between thinking that european trips are de rigueur versus having yearly vacations? of course, i never conceived of myself as spoiled, because my peers in high school were private school kids who had bigger everythings. so in comparison to them, i was not spoiled at all. but in comparison to other people, i was justifiably labeled "spoiled." really, it's all a matter of degrees.

so when i watch sixteen year olds get ready to attend their ridiculous sweet sixteen parties on mtv, i'm not jealous or hateful, i just hope that someday my sweet sixteen year old can have a party which costs a comparable amount. and that one day, i can give my kids everything they want, even if it's a stupid party.