Unfiltered

"When you write about things as they're happening -- which is what most people do on blogs -- you lose perspective, or rather, your perspective shrinks, so that only a tiny slice of your reality gets recorded. The cumulative impact of several months' worth of posts can lead to an entirely different conclusion than a few snippets taken out of context. This is the danger of blogging and also its seductive charm. It's so easy and fun to report on your current state of mind and your opinions, especially when you have strong feelings, and strong feelings are also fun to read about. You hated that movie! You're in love with that guy! That person's a douchebag!

Unfettered self-expression has its drawbacks, though. Like: what if you change your mind? What if you learn some things that make you feel entirely differently about that person, that movie, that guy? The version you recorded is still perpetually available, making you seem wishy-washy or, worse, like a liar if you flip-flop now. Your problem now becomes that the most popular result of a Google search becomes 'the truth,' even if you'd like it to be otherwise."
-Heartbreak Soup-

In a recent article about ex-Gawker editor Emily Gould, she talks about what she gained and lost by exposing her life online via personal and professional blogs. While I'd never heard about Gould until this article, it seems like she's made quite an impression on the Internet in a very short time. I'll definitely have to give her exploits a sidebox in "Revenge of the Rough Guide to Blogging."

A few years ago, I started a journal. A consistent one that I actually try to update and write. Unlike Gould, I'm not really an oversharer at all. Even if I love secrets, gossip, and shared interior monologues, I try to carefully measure how much I dole out about myself. I also tend to not be completely honest when expressing things a lot, which is both good and terrible at the same time.

Most of the blogs I read, and almost all the ones I fall in love with, are from people who reveal themselves online. They actually write about how they feel, what happened to them, or what they think happened and their honest opinion about it. I do none of these things -- thus I admire the people who choose to do so.

Mainly when I share something publicly, I'm speculating, questioning, or just asking "So what did you think?" There have been moments when I've contemplated journaling publicly, or opening it to public viewing, but each time something holds me back. For one, it would be a total PR disaster. For two, well. There is no two. There's always parts of you that should stay hidden from view don't you think?

Also there's a fear that everything would be taken the wrong way. It's easier to be opinionated, hateful, caring, loving, disgusted, or angry in private. Doing it in public would be quite a big step up from where I am now. Also, as Gould articulated so well in the quote above, journals aren't really an accurate representation of what you really think (even if they are secret), they are just snapshots of a "tiny slice of your reality that gets recorded."

So really, none of it is true anyway.

"What I was thinking as, like, a New Year's resolution is to stop getting so caught up in my own thoughts. 'Cause I'm, like, way too introspective. I think. But what if not thinking turns me into this really shallow person? I better rethink this becoming less introspective thing."
-MSCL-