Deep Sleep Operative

I've got a friend whose parents fully expect him to take care of them when they get older. Like the whole nine yards. They'll be living with him when they're too frail to take care of themselves. It's a very traditional Chinese thing. When I heard about it though, I was surprised; it had never occurred to me that my parents couldn't take care of themselves. I mean, wait, Mom and Dad won't be taking care of me all my life? What a revelation!

It's hard to come off watching "The Savages" (not to mention "The Diving Bell and the Butterfly") and not think about what you'd like to do with yourself when you're old. Or what your parents would like, I guess.

For the record, I want a Do Not Resuscitate order, I'd like to "keep it" when in doubt, and I'd like to be cremated by a fierce fire that burns as brightly as the Sun. I'm also partial to puddings and parfaits and please don't feed me any mushy eggplants, creamed spinach, or stomach turning blended carrots. Stick to fruit based sauces fortified with vitamins.

And should I change my mind about any of this, I'll be sure to blink twice. Or wiggle a toe or something. Thanks.