my agent, my (love) life

lilly likes to talk about meeting somebody's representative when you're dating. it's a phenomenon everybody knows about. for the first few dates you get the best of somebody. they're nicely groomed, well behaved, attentive, funny, and interesting. after a few dates however, the representative fades and the real person shines through.

this is also known as the "honeymoon period" if the dating turns into a relationship. after six months of dating the representative, you suddenly wake up one morning to an entirely new person. surly, forgetful, stubborn, unkempt, totally useless, and not what you signed up for. you feel duped. the nice guy is suddenly an ass, etc.

here's the thing, we all have our representative but what we really need is an agent.

what would a relationship agent do? well, what does a real agent do? they go out to find you deals and then they set the terms to those deals. they'll lay out what's expected, what you can live with, what you can live without, what you can and can't stand. the representative hooks'em, the agent books'em; and gives them the lowdown.

no dump clause? let's talk about it. a twenty-four hour moratorium after fights? put it in the contract. no contact with exes? sign here please. a romantic dinner at least once a week? date night on thursday? big celebrations on valentine's day? check, check, let's re-visit last one.

see how this would work? once you have an agent set your standards for success, both parties are free to enjoy each other within pre-approved guidelines. no more surprises, no more stunning revelations. when in doubt, refer to the contract. does anyone not like this idea?

the only question is, would you have to have another person as your agent? or could you represent yourself? i'd assume it'll be better to have third-parties represent both people, but then you have to kick out a fee. but isn't 10-15% worth a happy future?