issues vs baggage

over dinner a few weeks ago, we were speaking about one of our friends and it hit us that he tends to date girls with baggage. another friend at dinner tends to date girls with issues, but rarely baggage. so what's the difference? let's clarify.

first off, everyone has issues. there are certain personality issues we're born and bred with. insecurities, extreme ego, emotional roller coaster, inability to open up, what have you. these are par for the course. when we speak about "issues," we can usually break it down to a girl having one major issue that prevents a happy, healthy, relationship. for example, when you speak about that girl (hopefully an ex at this point), what would you say? if she's defined as "the crazy chick" or "the super jealous one," that's her issue.

now baggage, that's something a person drags around with them. the first type of baggage is literal. got kids? got an ex-husband? baggage. ex-boyfriends or an unrequited best friend lover is also baggage. in addition, typical negative lifestyles also count as baggage. inveterate cheater and can't stay stay faithful? that would qualify as baggage. basically, the line i'm looking for between issues and baggage is if it can be fixed -- hypothetically. you can't fix having a child, being divorced, or being caught red-handed cheating. those are now hard facts in your relationship case file. they are red flags that aren't going away.

everything else falls into the issues category, or some blend of both. for example, a gambling problem, issue or baggage? a little of both i'd say. the gambling debt is baggage, the issue behind it might be an addictive/destructive personality. super flirty and likes to make all the guys pay attention to her -- much to your chagrin? issue. can't get along with your friends? issue. a friend likes to declare his undying love for her every six months? baggage. likes to give people the silent treatment (because she can't express her anger)? issue. had an abusive relationship in the past? issue and baggage. never been in a "real" relationship? ooh, tough one. i'd say it's baggage about to lead into issues once you date her. see how this works?

so, given the choice, which one would you date? or also, which one do you tend to date? some of us are fine dating girls with issues, some of us prefer baggage. which dating catastrophe do you prefer?

note: of course this issues versus baggage applies to guys too. of course. it takes two to make a relationship bomb.