new year's eve, actually

for the first time in a long time, the new year started off with a bang. that's in direct contrast to the many new year's eves spent in either mid-commute, in a parking lot, or at my parent's house surrounded by a few dozen chinese adults singing auld lang syne.

actually, as i get older, the last one isn't a bad thing. it's refreshing to see people (old or young) really enjoy and ring in each new year surrounded by friends and family -- over and over again. hell, if we're bored of new year's during our mid-twenties, how exciting can it be in our mid-fifties? at least these parents are showing us young kids how it's done.

the new year is however, for couples. i think december 31st has to rank (a distant) second as the worst day for those who aren't romantically linked with someone. forget mistletoe and christmas, nobody goes into christmas hoping for a kiss. valentine's and new year's however, different story. i believe the singles usually suffer a moment, however slight, of: "another year, another moment i'm alone in this universe -- possibly forever."

the only reason new year's is a distant second is that there's only one moment when you have to confront the idea of not having someone to kiss (or rather, to avoid being punched when you try); valentine's is the whole damn day. plus, there's eternal hope on new year's. i mean, there's always a chance that the hot platonic girl/guy next to you will smooch you just on basic principle.

few people have high hopes of scoring a relationship on valentine's in the same manner. anyone out and about is probably already taken, or for the truly cynical, obviously flawed since they can't find a valentine's either. losers.

i heard that my mom was struck by a gripping loneliness two new year's ago, and that's why she's avoided new year's celebrations since. i feel lonely any time i'm left to my own devices for more than a few days -- i start to go bonkers and seek out friend contact anywhere i can find it. i can hardly imagine the depths of loneliness that my mom feels each and every day; much less on new year's eve, with chinese parents hugging and singing. it's just like the familiar new year's eves of the past for her, but totally not.

i spent the stroke of midnight trying to call a friend, to tell him that the dj was spinning a song that reminded me of him. maybe i should have spent that time sensitive phone call less flippantly, and more caringly.