beautiful, i just want you to know. in a programming move inspired by king midas, mtv has upped the ante on its reality programming. instead of slipping increasingly better looking people (arguably) onto its shows -- especially flagship show "the real world" -- mtv has finally decided to cut through the bullshit and go straight to casting ten actual aspiring models. instead of figuring out which cast member(s) was the the "hot one," mtv decided to just toss all hotties into its new show, to create a true melting pot of hot. god bless america.

see, mtv had a problem. how could they top the mega-success created by melodramatic good looking teens from laguna beach? their obvious answer was to kick it up a notch and throw an entire cast of beautiful people in front of the camera. say hello to "8th and ocean." after watching the highly anticipated first episode, i'm here to tell you that the strategy (shockingly) works. beautiful people inspire awe, or hate, and either one makes for gripping viewing.

in addition to having telegenic models on-screen, mtv has further assured the success of 8th & ocean by having twins on the show. note the acclaimed television history of having (real or fictional) twins on your show: 90210, friends, sister sister, full house, i'm sure the list is much more extensive. all winners, sort of.

8th and ocean boasts the intriguing premise of identical twins on different career paths. how can this be you ask? don't they look alike? yes, they do, but there are slight differences. strangely, one twin is objectively better looking. both are abnormally good looking compared to us regular humans, but somehow, kelly is just better looking than her sister sabrina. kelly also has a more outgoing personality and a better relationship with the camera. despite looking almost exactly like her sister, sabrina just doesn't have it. plus she has acne and is jealous of kelly's rising star, which gives her even more pressure -- possibly leading to more acne. hey, beautiful people get acne too, right proactive?

this is a social psychology question worthy of our highest universities. how can two identical twins have such different prospects in the modeling world -- a world predicated on physical looks? i will be pondering this question throughout the duration of this show. i mean, i'm not watching the show for the models, that would just be too obvious.

the show also features a modern day dorothy from kansas, britt, who claims to have never gone out to a club before, and doesn't know how to dance. riiight. by episode three i'm sure she'll be tossing down drinks and gyrating on invisible poles with the best of them.