steal this book. if you get the opportunity to hear anyone(everyone)'s life story, would you become sympathetic to their plight? i mean, say a guy is a straight up asshole. does learning about his "behind the music" or "true life story" make his asshole-ness an easier pill to swallow? once you get the reasons and motivations behind why someone is the way they are, can you forgive them for their less than impressive traits?

i say no.

if someone is an asshole, regardless of reason, i feel like there's enough evidence right then and there to warrant dismissing them as a person. of course, second, third, and additional redemptive chances are possible, but why would any particular behind the story allow someone to be a jerk? i say this full well knowing that i'm a total sucker for shows like "behind the music: kanye west." i dislike kanye but after seeing his vh1 special a few times, i came to admire his drive and passion. but he's still a conceited bastard.

having a bad day? treating other people around you poorly because of it? too bad. you're an asshole. just crashed your car and fucked up your finances? too bad, that's not an excuse to be an asshole. in fact, i can find no reason for anyone to be an unapologetic asshole. and apologetic assholes only get one mulligan. and only if that one time involves death, permanent injury, and/or heartbreak.

traditionally, i say that i've really ever hated only one person in life. this particular guy was pretty much an infinite asshole to everyone around him -- save family and a few select friends. i will name no names here. anyway, his "excuse" for being an ass was that he'd been the first to find his mother after her suicide. he was a young child at the time. traumatic and incomprehensible as that must have been, i found/find it hard to give him a lifetime "be an asshole" card.

at a certain point, you can choose whether to be nice to people or to be an ass. i don't need you to be nice, but don't be an ass (unless that's what you want i suppose). and especially don't be an ass just because you think you have an excuse for it. the reason you're an ass is because you're an ass, period. end of story.

unless, of course, somehow you become a great success and get a behind the scenes special, in which case you'd become a rich and famous ass. which is better than being a poor and overlooked ass i suppose.