do you see, what i see. let's play the "whose fault is it" game (again). the situation shapes up like this: girl meets guy, girl hangs out with guy. feelings or non-feelings are observed and eventually, mentioned. girl tells guy "i think i like you." guy tells girl "oh, um, i have and have had a girlfriend." whoops.

is the guy being ridiculously shady? to be hanging out with a member of the opposite sex without informing them that he's taken? do valid reasons/excuses exist for a guy to be "withholding" that type of information? of course, if the guy is doing it consciously, trying to avoid the "do you have a girlfriend" question so that he can have his cake and eat it too, then the fault lies squarely with him. but say the subject of significant others never comes up in conversations-- impossible i know, since that should really be in the top six questions to be asked right off the bat -- then who's fault is it? does the fault lie with the girl who never directly asked (perhaps not wanting to know the answer)? or does the blame fall on the guy, for not slipping in a "...me and my girlfriend, yada yada yada."

married people have been known to surreptitiously flash the ring to ward off unwelcome advances (i'd imagine welcomed advances involve a lot of gesturing with primarily the right hand), but how do you flash the "i have a serious girlfriend" sign? is there a badge you should be showing? are there universally recognized hand signals that are meant to ward off potential suitors? maybe fraternities and sororities had it right with the whole pinning idea.

i mean, should an ambiguous "i'm not single" attitude really be counted on to be the fail-safe deterrent nowadays? all that "i'm not single attitude" gets you is "man, what an unfriendly bitch."

i don't see why people aren't full on endorsing the whole hawaiian flower thing. you know, flower positioned over the right ear of a girl equals "i'm single (tonight)," while a flower positioned over the left ear hints at "this will take more effort." is this not an ingenious idea that all cultures should adopt? there's probably some color coding going on with those flowers too; like yellow flower equals "happy," pink flower equals "happy but flirtatious," and orange-red flower equals "i'm taken but ready to be swept off my feet after two drinks."

i don't have any hawaiian friends to confirm this theory with, but i'd like to pretend that they've got a whole color coded system figured out. i mean, what other reason could account for hawaiians being so perpetually happy and laid back? because they've got that girl-guy communication shit figured out, that's why. we don't. i mean really, should we mainlanders be forced to revert to friendster stalking to determine if someone is single or "in a relationship?"

on a semi-side note, do you realize how important that one little "status" section on friendster is? "single, in a relationship, domestic partner, married, it's complicated." i've heard about fights breaking out because one party in a relationship didn't change their dating status quickly enough. "what are you trying to do? are we not going out? we've been dating for fifty five minutes asshole. go change that shit right now or it's over!" or even the ever popular "what do you mean 'it's complicated!' what're you trying to say about us? fuck you!" and no, these moments have not been culled from personal experiences, although they might as well have been. friendster's status section has taken on epochal meaning for our times. seriously, what do you look at first on the profile after the pictures? books and movies someone likes? please, that's so shallow.

also, note how this status section can indicate if a friend is in denial about a relationship they are obviously still in despite their protests. "see, right here on friendster, it says i'm single! we're really not going out anymore!" or it can indicate that they're holding onto a relationship that's already clearly over. it's so sad when one half of the couple has marked "single" and the other person is still "in a relationship." what's left of my heart really goes out to these delusional still in denial ones. and then there are those who are in a relationship but are afraid to commit to the officialness of it, so they mark "single" instead of "in a relationship."

i really just need to blog separately about all the things that the status section of friendster can tell you about a person. so, moving on.

is it the job of a boyfriend to pointedly, and seriously, tell all females in his vicinity that he's taken? i mean, isn't that a bit rude? to meet someone, hang out with them, and then out of the blue announce "oh right, i have a serious girlfriend, just thought you should know in case you were wondering. sorry, what time did you say it was?"

don't you think part of the responsibility for knowing something like this about someone else lies with the seeker? i mean, sure "you didn't ask" is the fallback excuse for all kinds of scum/males when trapped into a corner, but really, in this instance, it's legit. if someone's gonna like you enough to want to date you and hasn't thought to ask "so, is there anybody special i should know about?" then the onus is on them for not doing a thorough background check.

relationships are always a whodunit caper, but let's eliminate some of the obvious suspects shall we? don't be afraid to pry a little, there's nothing wrong with a bit of prying. or the occassional glance through the friendster profile. i mean, that's what the internet is here for right? to facilitate relationships?