"...sports is the ultimate cultural equalizer: i can't think of any subject that so many people know so much about. i feel like i personally know at least 100 guys who have a 'near expert' understanding of the nfl. if you watch the games each week (and especially if you grew up watching the games each week), you can easily have a 90-minute conversation about pro football with a total stranger in any airport bar (assuming said stranger has had a similar experience).

there is a shared knowledge of sports in america that is unlike our shared knowledge of anything else. whenever i have to hang out with someone i've never met before, i always find myself secretly thinking, 'i hope this dude knows about sports. i hope this dude knows about sports. i hope this dude knows about sports.' because if he does, i know the rest of the conversation will be easy."
-chuck klosterman-

as big a fan as i am of sports, i don't think i've ever had a ninety minute conversation about it. most of my sports conversations -- especially with strangers -- have lasted approximately ninety-seconds.

"oh, so you like basketball hunh? what's your team?"
"i'm a celtics fan."
"how about that larry bird? he was pretty good"
"yeah, he wasn't bad."
*silence*

the problem with talking to people about sports is that you're never really listening to what the other guy has to say. it's kind of a polite give and take of opinions without any actual conversation being exchanged. everyone has their minds made up about who they think is good or bad, which teams they like, which ones they don't. there's nothing enlightening going on during a sports conversation. nobody is going to suddenly be like "wow, i didn't know that, thank you for telling me." sports conversations usually just lead towards a dull ending with some sort of "well, player-a better do good tomorrow otherwise they're fucked." then the other guy goes "i hear ya, let's hope he does well."

despite all this, i still feel a tremendous sense of relief when someone i just met likes sports. the problem is, i'm usually never sure if a guy is a true fanatic or just mildly interested in sports and uses it as chitchat. i hate people who use sports as chitchat. guys who sit at the bar and keep on bringing up football topics just so they can hear themselves talk. "yeah, so, john elway... better than montana?" i've had this happen to me once, and it was fun for about five seconds, before i realized that everything he had to say was canned and anything i had to say he wanted to refute. so really, why are we talking again?

i need to know right off the bat if someone can talk sports all day long or if they're just talking about it because that's one of the first things two guys might connect on. sports is really better as an argumentative piece, as opposed to a conversation topic. you can argue sports for a long time, or play it, but you really can't conversate about it.

on the other hand, shopping, that you can conversate about. if shopping is to females what sports is to males, then i'd say that i'd prefer feminine shopping based conversations. when girls get together to talk shopping, they're showing their fellow females where to find the best deals, when to buy things, and what kind of excursions they can plan for the future. this is useful information. i wonder if girls get that sense of relief when they find out another girl likes shopping. "ah, here we have something to talk about and connect on (besides boys)." or maybe shopping conversations are actually just as boring to girls as sports conversations can be to boys?

i'm starting to suspect that almost all conversations with strangers are pretty boring, regardless of gender or topic. i'm gonna go engage some people in shopping and sports conversations to see which one is more capable of being drawn out should the occasion call for it. i'll be sure to report back.