By Your Side

Is this the year of weddings or what? With a lull the last couple of wedding seasons -- just one or two a year -- the next few months are shaping up to be steak or salmon central. This is totally predictable considering where we're at with age and our time of life (panic) and whatnot. Get paired up people, the forty day flood is coming sooner than you think.

The first wave of marriages was the post-college "We're so cute we've been together for ten years high school" couples and the religious folk. The second wave of weddings were for people who met The One in the years immediately after finishing school or for people who waited out grad school and higher education level education. Now we're entering the third wave, the late twenties push for everyone looking to avoid the long fall into desperation mode and biological clocks that chase you like the alligator from Peter Pan.

So I'm ready for weddings, totally. My issue is why are higher powers choosing this year to rob me of half of my close girlfriends in one six month period? Seriously, stop it. It tickles. Out of the five or so female friends I talk to on a semi-regular basis, four of them have gotten engaged this year. While none of them have been outright surprises, when taken in sum it means my speed dial is coming under heavy attack.

I'm happy for them of course because love is patient, love is kind, and love ain't jealous, blah blah blah. But when your good (opposite sex) friend gets engaged, things change don't they? I mean, if you want to declare any undying love, this is your last shot man. You probably shouldn't wait until the wedding day -- so tacky then. So take the opportunity to scream it out loud now before the down payment on the venue is due! Just kidding.

Things are different though. For example, when a friend is in a mere relationship, I could pretty much care less what effect their significant other's happiness has on their decision making analysis. I mean, they are still just going out and not bonded for life right? Ultimately, she's still responsible for making her own decisions. However, once they slip on that ring, friendship protocol demands that you start taking his feelings into consideration too.

True story. I have an upcoming wedding that I'd normally invite one of my newly engaged friends to since she also casually knows the bride to be. Instead I'm deciding not to ask and just go solo because (a) it feels rude to ask and take away a holiday weekend from her when she should be spending it with him (b) it's weird to have to consider what her fiance will think and if he'll be offended by bystanders seeing his ring and thinking we're engaged (c) I don't want to think too long about what it all means now that she makes life decisions based on two people.

Even on the simplest level this change offends my entire friendship philosophy. But what is there to do about it? Get a big wedding gift for them right? Oh wait, I don't give wedding gifts because I'm an unappreciative friend with no social graces.

But no, back to my original point, who the hell has most of their girl friends obliterated out of singledom in just over half a year? It's like a meteor has struck and left a huge crater. Luckily I'm mature enough to understand that this is the way it is. Que sera sera right?

Oh and my long standing goal of becoming a male of honor is so far not going so well. Why nobody wants to be daring and put me in a lineup on the biggest day of their lives is beyond me.