Fish Out of Water

Last week, I found myself at the Chinese supermarket waiting in the express line and literally preparing to revert to my "single diet." "Single" meaning living alone and not having the company or the energy to bother eating anywhere or anything except steamed white rice topped with a can of tuna and corn niblets. Pepper to taste. I had four items in my basket: a rice cooker, tuna, corn, and a personal sized bag of rice I almost managed to leave behind.

My heart really goes out to single guys when I see them at grocery store check outs. It's so obvious. And really pathetic. Like, "Wow, so this is what you eat every night? Seriously?" It's similar to watching teachers eat lunches. It's so disheartening that this is what lunches and dinners have been reduced to for adults. Microwave meals, soda, and sandwiches. With the occassional side of fruit or dessert. You would think that as you move up in life, lunches get better. Definitely not the case for most jobs.

The times I've reverted to my single diet aren't times when I've necessarily been single. In fact, most of the time, I've been in a relationship at the height of this particular diet, meaning I should probably call it something else entirely. Or re-examine my relationships. Or both.

This kid tested mother unapproved diet was invented when I first lived in New York (ok, fine, New Jersey) with Hong and Lynn. They went out to eat a lot together and Angie usually worked late, leaving me without dinner partners. So in the late afternoons when I woke up, I'd make two cups of rice, crack open a can of corn and a matching one of tuna, and then use that to roll through lunch and dinner. Simple, right?

The big advantage of the single diet is that I hit the basic food groups, it's easy to make, and the clean up afterwards is non-existent. When I'm on this diet, I feel like I'm either buckling down to do something important -- in this case cutting out extraneous time spent at sit-down meals -- or I'm lonely and unable to justify going to a restaurant by myself.

Either way, it doesn't seem like this loner diet is particularly good for me. But damn it's tasty.

What's funny is that tuna also plays a big part in Hong's single life. When Hong starts eating cans of tuna and doing sit-ups at random times during the day, you know he's about to launch into another one of his "I'm Hong and I'm single" periods in his life. Tuna must have magical powers for single men. Or for un-single ones in my case.