if you don't know, now you know

a girl who had recently begun dating one of my friends, and who had never met any of his friends before, met us a few weeks ago. she sure had a lot of questions. i guess this is what happens when you date anonymously. you're never sure exactly where a person is coming from and you have to remain guarded. however, how much honesty can you expect out of a group of people who are hypothetically, clearly, not your side. i mean, if my friend was an ass and a cheater, would i really disclose that in a bout of drunken revelry? probably not.

google and internet stalking can only reveal so much. the thing to do here is to start a relationshipster -- one that will allow people to not only see who has dated whom, but also how they did. "five stars! he was a great guy but we just drifted apart." "this one may seem cool but she's crazy, stay away!" "romantic, caring, and sweet but just a bit too much; not for me but perfect for you?"

then again, some people prefer to know next to nothing about the person they're dating. why go in with pre(mis)conceptions when you're trying to get to know them? make up your opinion -- find your own fate. but then you're left to only receive information from one source, them. wouldn't it be better to get a well-rounded opinion? if knowing is half the battle wouldn't a relationshipster line my pockets with gold?

while we're at it. what's your stance on relationship character assasination? say you're closer with one friend but also friends with the person he/she's pursuing, do you tell one of them about the red flags of the other? it'd be hard to morally give it a thumbs up when you have some heavy reservations right? or do you just leave it alone and hope for the best?

i've had a troubled relationship history and i've done my part to disclose my issues up-front; and in many instances, so have my friends. so the question is, does all this advance disclosing create a self-fulfilling prophecy? is it better to remain silent or to clear your conscience? are we old enough to handle our own destinies or should the peanut gallery be allowed to chime in once in awhile?

remember, the number one rule in relationships is, as always: safety first. and i'm not talking about that kind of safety.