crash test dummies. i've never had the pleasure of crashing an established group of friends. for some reason or other, i've always been able to start hanging out with a group just as they form. which means that i'm never in the position of trying to figure out the connections (or lack thereof) between people, the inside jokes that run rampant in conversations, the social mores that the group has adopted. i haven't had to meet ten new people at the same time and try to get to know them. in short, i've always been pretty comfortable and never had to feel intrusive, excluded or intimidated from facing a brand new bag of people.



for someone to meet a group of established friends and then proceed to hang out extensively with them, i'd imagine it could be somewhat difficult. for one, you aren't privy to all the insider knowledge. the basics of who's dated whom, who is judgemental, who is two faced, who is nicer than they appear. it's fun to learn and observe all this of course but you have to fight conversation apathy. in my experience, i don't think DDTs are as en vogue within a group that already knows (too much) about each other. so this makes it difficult to engage in group conversations that enable you, as the outsider, to get to know everyone.



the only way to attack this problem is to hang out in pairs or trios. but it's hard to gauge sometimes how open someone is to (a) hanging out (b) moving outside their social sphere to hang out. it's like transferring into college as a junior. everyone already has their friends and they are lax to meet new people, or are too busy to spend significant amounts of time befriending other folk. so while you may be very open to meets and greets, the other party may not be.



the closest i've ever been to crashing a social group was in high school, when i hung out with all the mt carmel people. they were definitely an established group before i hung out with them. but even in this instance, i grew up with frank, victor and josh so i knew them pretty well. plus, i was more of an outsider and only around for random functions, as opposed to eventually becoming great friends with everyone. so aside from this taste of the wild side, i've never had to encounter a whole group of people on my own. this may lead to some personality deficiencies i feel, or at least experience deficiencies.



so, given that meeting a group of new people can be a difficult experience, why bother? because maybe the rewards are worth it? perhaps you are at the end of the line and up against a wall. you've moved to a new city, a new school, you have to find friends somewhere right? maybe this group of people are actually cool and you want to hang out with them. they entertain you, are nice to you and they want to hang out. that's great, but it still takes some time to get to know everyone. how fast can someone integrate themselves into a group? will i ever find out?