Brit-onics (aka Rebecc-onics)

with apologies to Big L, RIP



Yo, pay attention

And listen real closely how I break this British down



Guys are blokes fags are smokes

Weed is sometimes called dope

Your family’s your folks

Your friends are your mates

Your old man is your da

Your mother might say “ta”



When you’re drunk you’re pissed

You might miss who you kissed

When you pulled you hooked up

When you shagged, well…….you know



French fries are chips, chips are crisps

A biscuit’s a cookie and talking back is cheeky

The food you eat is gorgeous

You’re a beauty if you serve it quickly

Eat too much and you’re a pie

To fancy a girl is to give her the eye



If you look good you’re fit

The same for fine and divine

If someone says you’re a minger

You just got called fucking ugly

She’s a village bike if she’s been around

She’s a slapper so you can have her

A tart and a strumpet are much the same

Alike in actions different only in name



The Tube is the Metro

Gas is called petrol

Pence is your cents

You sound stupid, you’re dense

Your quids are your bucks

Lorries are trucks

A Phat Piss Up’s for drunks



Legging it from the pigs

Is running from the cops

A truncheon’s for police

To protect the streets

They can only hit your buns

Cuz they carry no guns



Fourteen pounds is a stone

Sixteen is when you marry and cease being alone

At seventeen you drive

but be careful

You’ve probably been drinking since age five



If I haven’t seen you in yonks

I haven’t seen you in years

If I meet you in a fortnight

Meet me in two weeks to be right

A torch is a hand light

A ruck is a rugby fight

BBC is on the telly

You send pages from the celly

If it rains bring a brolly

Go shopping with a trolley



The hood and the trunk

Is the bonnet and boot

Your car’s in the park

In the mornings won’t start

A pints for beers

“Thank you” is cheers

A pub is a bar

Wear a suit to look smart

Gingham hair is a start

On the way to Becca’s heart

A diaper’s a nappy

A smashing good time

Is to be happy



Football is soccer

And sports are more proper

AH-di-das is Adidas

Steal the cricket wicket

And I would say you nicked it

Get caught and you’re nothing but a fuckwit

Chavs pinch your bags

The bathroom’s the waz

Pikeys are manky and grimey

Dodgy and sharking is quite slimy



Bloody hell, I forgot that to flog is to sell

And the dustbin is what you put the trash in



Color with a “U”, Tire with a “Y”

“Z” is zed and a flat’s got your bed

Horrible is howible

And terrible is tewible

Sub your “Rs” with your “Ws”

And you got nothing left to lose

Revise to stay wise

Learn the language

Hypnotize



I know you like the way I’m freakin’ it

I talk with slang and I’ma never stop speakin’ it