Finally, I'm in a place I feel safe, secure, and comfortable (Del Mar, with the secret agent, o07). I can sleep, I can eat, I can talk, I can party. I can do anything. Right now. If people would listen. I've been trying to get people to listen to me all week. But everyone was too busy, too stressed, too over-involved, or just plain didn't know me well enough to have patience. I understand. I forgive you. I've never been even 20% honest with anyone in my life. Most of all, to myself. But this week, I found out that I could be 100% to 0% honest and the results would be the same: Happiness. "The truth will set you free."
My friends (and near strangers/acquanainces/BFF I met a few days ago) have questioned my sanity. But I'm here to state: I'm not crazy -- even if the radio sings it like that, over and over. See-Lo and (No)Danger(Mighty)Mouse (Jay Z + Beatles); who are Gnarly, and built like Sir C.Barkley. Nobody's crazy, they're just not understood. Sing it Round Mound of Rebound, sing it -- Goodie Mob, we all have Beautiful Skin. We all do India Arie (no period). And so hip-hop (NOT just rap, 4 elements remember?) reinvented the past? It did. Well, it's also leading us toward the future. Even though we're about to shut off the radio (in frustration) because we don't need to know why we're hot; we already know. Mims (sucks). Kick push, kick push. Gliiiiiiide (like Clyde).
And if anyone still thinks I am (still crazy/depressed/repressed/desperate/manic) by the time I've finished with my pre-ordained tasks (by Sunday night, this April 22, 2007) then I'll do anything they want. Even if it means being cuffed and sitting in the back of a police car, and loving every second of being "locked up." I love you all and for the record, I want to live-strong. Or cuddle-bddy.
Yeah, it's all true. 120% of what I'm about to write. For those of you I've hurt, lost, confused, revealed myself to. I first thank you, and then say I'm sorry. Oh, did I mention hurt? I'll mention it again.
Remember, the truth sets you free. Every time. But truth and honesty are two different things. The truth is subjective; honesty is a personal choice; so then, what is it? Truth vs Honesty vs ???
Is the "???" Objectivism? Nope. Rand is right for everyone, at some point, but she's a hack philosopher. She will capture your attention when you're young and full of verve and dreams. But you'll ditch her for better things. What are those better things? Altruism, a helping hand, spirituality, communism; all things Rand despises. But little did she know that she was setting the hand in motion that would make Atlas not only Shrug; but find the strength to lift the burden off his shoulders, and raise it high above his head. Effortlessly, and easily, so that Atlas can support us, but also, be one of us. And return to his proper place as a god; to engage in play with the other gods (and goddesses) of the world. I'm just here to say that I'm not Atlas, I am no g-o-d, but I think I've seen the light. And not THE light. But A light. And how many people can say that? And if you already did, then you're way ahead of me. And shame on you for not showing me. But again, I don't blame you. Because we needed blogging to teach us. And what did I do? I literally wrote the book (rough guide to) on blogging. You know?
Heads up, eyes closed, fists clenched. Let us begin.... maybe not at the beginning. But I know what the ending is: Happily Ever After. For everyone I know, and don't know, that's what I've always wanted. And now....I know how to get there. Read along if you want, don't read if you don't. I'm done overloading people with information. Thank you people/friends/receptacles of infomation. I've found my brain dump. It's the blog and the internet. Thanks Al Gore, for inventing the Internet. If you were so damn smart, why can't you stop global warming instead of talking about it with a slide show that's already outdated? Heck, if you were so damn smart, why didn't you rig the election to beat your opponent? Well. You aren't that smart, Mr Potatoe Head. Because you know why? My friend, Babbs, the dreaded sting of the double-B (who floats like a butterfly and stings like a ______; the greatest athelete in the world, bar none) told you so. On national mTV. And then your answers rejected him; in the polite way, in the p.c. way. But it was still a rejection. So now you know Mr Gore. Babbs was showing you the world of rap and hip hop. But not only that, he was showing you himself (and us). Black on both sides. Umi Says. Allah. Namaste Black. Believe first; then faith, then seek, then truth, then use science to believe some more. Then stay healthy, wealthy, and as BJF says, get wise.
You know? Oh, you didn't? Well, now you will. If you don't know, now you will. I promise - I hope, I pray?
J Eazy
paradigmpimp (tm)
I hope to find out. And once I found out, I'll look again. Because first instincts, stereotypes, generalizations, the mistakes of our past; those are just tools used by our ancestors (biological or hereditary) and our forebearers. We're living in a time of change. Change so fast nobody can understand or predict it. I think I can.
Wanna play? I wanna rock with you.... (sing it, any version you want; I prefer the Brandy/Chubb Rock version).
Tag, you're it.
"Yo, yo, check it
It's important, we communicate
And tune the fate of this union, to the right pitch
I never call you my bitch or even my boo
There's so much in a name and so much more in you
Few understand the union of woman and man
And s_x and a tingle is where they assume that it land
But that's fly by night for you and the sky I write
For in these cold ____ nights moon, you my light
If heaven had a height, ya'll would be that tall
Ghetto to coffee shop, through you I see that all
Let's stick to understandin and we won't fall
For better or worse times, I hope to me you call
So I pray* every day more than anything
Friends will stay as we begin to lay
This foundation for a family - love ain't simple
Why can't it be anything worth having you work at annually
Granted we known each other for (maybe not) some time
It don't take a whole day to recognize sunshine"
MiiW (ambigram, sorta; see angel's card)
Apparently I'm okay now. I have my laptop back; the computer has made me sane. Or wait. Was it the new orange Shuffle I got today? Dubbed "Electric Kool Aid," its 1 gig goodness will surely evaporate all worries. Or at least drown them out.
