It's resolutions time. I've never made resolutions before, aside from general ones, but this is the year to start. Since I have no job, I decided I should be approaching my life like a job. Long and short term goals, accountability, reporting, and slacking off when the boss ain't looking. To that end, I looked up this "Free Tools to Manage New Year's Resolutions" thing and it said to use the S.M.A.R.T. method of setting goals and objectives. SMART means be Specific, Measurable, Achievable, Realistic, and Timely.
Basically I'm avoiding the broad resolutions in favor of really small ones. I'm aiming for a high score here, maybe even an A. There's nothing I like better than having an application to track my progress so I'll be using Joe's Goals, which is still in beta but seems easy to use and display. Except apparently, right now, when I'm trying to set it up. Day one and I've already failed. Computer error. That figures.
Forget it, I'm moving on to 43things. Maybe I'll use Joe's Goals for the ones that require daily tracking and then 43things for the biggies. Or I could do a spreadsheet. I fear that I'll be bogged down by the organizational aspect of resolutions and do nothing. Never, I'm strong of mind and full of willpower -- or shit.
I think the big mistake in making New Year's resolutions is that people make them for the entire year. That's very hard to do. Life can change so fast that in a few months, weeks even, your goals may no longer be the same at all. What I've resolved to do is just set down some goals for the next three months, from January through March. After that my life will probably be totally different, I'll be super accomplished, and then I can make a new list of a dozen or so things.
After looking through my list, most of my objectives center around my potential career as a writer. I want to be either writing, practicing writing, or doing something to prep for EC to launch. Build a website, figure out some grassroots marketing to do, hold fan club elections, that sort of thing. I should also try to lay some groundwork for future books and freelance pieces. So those are on the list too.
The writing daily thing is huge too. Currently if I'm not working on a book (Book 3 ideas are submitted but they've yet to get back to me) I'm not really writing at all. I should be doing something, or going through a grammar or style book, but I'm not. Gotta get on that.
The other thing I really want to focus on is the performative aspect of being a writer. I've been watching a lot of TED talks recently (they are money on the iPhone) and I'm so impressed at how eloquent and humorous the speakers are. It would add some nice versatility to my repertoire if I could perform like that, and not just in a totally informal setting like job training or blogging workshops. Authors and writers need to multi-task these days, I think. I can't be afraid of being in front of people, of being interviewed, or of standing up and engagingly and clearly talking about my book(s). I was reading the first few pages of EC to someone the other night and I was appalled at how much I stumbled and muttered. I can't even read right right now. Putting a fix on that is priority quickness.
I don't have much of a performer in me but it would be challenging and potentially fun to do something like a Mortified, a poetry piece, anything that might allow me to get away from the computer and out in front of real people. Thus the memorizing thing. I can't memorize for shit right now and I need to work on it. Related to that is taking an acting class. My friend told me she takes this acting class and it's been revealing to have to open up like that. I hate/fear acting but this is something I think I should do, even if it's one drop-in class where I sit glued to my chair until it's my turn to play the quiet Asian. I'll call that a success.
The other short term goals include doing something physical on a regular basis (swim if I'm at home near my pool, ball anywhere else) and being a better friend. The last one is nebulous and ongoing but I think I need to learn to show people my appreciation more. Be it tokens, thoughts, words, white doves, something.
So there it is, my Jan-Mar 2009 resolutions. Bring it on.
Oh, I had been talking about having a resolutions accountability partner but so far there doesn't seem to be a likely candidate -- plus my goals are so tiny that I should be able to get a handle on it. I don't want to have someone trying to check in on if I did my writing homework or something every day. They'd get bored really quick. I think I will be able to find someone on some of the writing goals (D, you hear me?) and she's amazing motivation already.
Showing posts with label Career. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Career. Show all posts
Thursday, January 15, 2009
Wednesday, January 7, 2009
Our Space
I headed off to LA at six hoping that my cruising speed would be slow enough so traffic wouldn't bother me much. How right I was. Since I drive so damn slow, by the time I hit the congestion areas in Irvine and beyond, much of the traffic had already died down and I arrived in Rowland Heights five minutes before eight, exactly on schedule for a reunion dinner with my "kids."It's been a whole year since I've seen everyone convened in one spot. Actually it's been a whole year since I've seen any of them save Raymond, who periodically came down to San Diego to hang out, play guitar with James, and generally bum about with me. I miss them, the whole group, with all the little stories, jokes, and routines that would occur, the types of things that can't be replicated without the drudgery of office life to push things along. It wasn't drudgery for me, of course, because it was fun, and they were an awesome and mostly industrious group.
I can't imagine working in an office again, especially without a group of people that I like and get along with. I know I'm going to have to return to an office at some point but the last experience was so good, working with friends old and new, that it's probably the best it's ever going to get. Plus, when will I ever get to manage again? I mean, my management style was more summer camp counselor than anything else but I'd like to think we got what we needed to get done. Would that look good on a resume? "We got what we needed to get done, mostly."
My theory on managing people is that if you treat them well they'll want to do good work for you. I know that seems a bit optimistic, and that leaves you prone to being taken advantage of, but the alternative is to be a hard ass and that's no fun. I guess I've just been around a lot of shitty managers in my short stints of real work. Managers who either had no clue what was going on, managers who didn't know how to delegate, train, or motivate, and managers who just generally seemed incredibly incompetent. The qualities that I'd look for in a good manager are surprisingly hard to find and it's a wonder how so many middle aged idiots are in positions of power. I mean, not that I'd complain if I soon became one of these idiots but seriously, why are they managing anything?
It would be nice to be given the chance again to manage something. Many of my friends and peers are now managers, supervisors, heads of departments, and I'd love to be able to see them at work. It would be so interesting to compare their normal selves with their work selves. Would evaluating them through the lens of a job make me see them differently? Undoubtedly right?
Working at Omnis, Vy and I could fight like cats and dogs but outside of work we got along famously. It's such a weird thing to think that you'd clash in one area while getting along superbly in all other respects. It makes me want to take the business challenge with all of my friends. Would we end up hating each other? Would we lose or gain respect for our way of doing things? I feel like it could be quite the revelation.
The majority of P-Unit (processing unit) is now finishing up school, and have either moved on to other jobs or are planning to step out into the post-collegiate world. For some of them, Omnis was their first office type job. I wonder how they'll look back on that experience after a few years sludging around. I always told the kids that real work was nothing like this. You don't get to mingle with a hundred other people your age, it's not like a big social thing. Real work sucks man, so enjoy this little island of youth while you can. But I'm sure they didn't believe me. I wouldn't have believed me if I was them.
During the time I was finishing up the first draft of the book, I was at Omnis and ended up using a few names, character traits, and fashion styles of the kids I was working with. Unfortunately, some of the side characters and details got changed but even thinking about the world I was enveloped in at the time, between the writing and the job, brings a smile to my face as I recall carefully studying people's outfits, mannerisms, and general attitudes and little sayings. It was a fucking good time.
Wednesday, December 31, 2008
Anything is Possible
Listening to: Kimya Dawson, "Tire Swing."
What to make of 2008? I can't say it's been a hard year but to be honest, it's been a hard year. If 2006 was the year of discovery, 2007 the year of recovery, then 2008 is the year of, well, something that rhymes with -covery. Whatever. I'm not even going to begin to complain because I haven't had a job for one day this year and the next time that'll happen will probably be awhile. Have I used all that free time wisely? Certainly not, but it hasn't been totally unproductive.
I've been going over past pictures, blogs, and journal entries in an effort to encapsulate what 2008 was about. For the most part, it felt disjointed, like big momentous things happened but then sped by to be replaced by long lulls where I sat home and itched for action. Let's just start with the stats of it all.
Unemployment ends in a week or so. My job hunt begins soon and barring a miracle, I'll be back at some terrible entry level job I hate. The trade off will (hopefully) be that I'm out of San Diego and moved up to somewhere like San Francisco. I dread the prospect of returning to a job but I won't even bitch about it because everyone else is dealing with real adult things like layoffs and keeping their jobs while still juggling bills. I have no job sure, but I also have no bills. And yes, I'm thirty.
As for writing, I've begun to become comfortable saying that I'm a writer. Until I could see the finish line for this book, I wasn't willing to say "writer" to describe myself unless pressed. Now, with it finished and completed, I'm willing to say, "I'm a writer," when someone asks what I do. I still feel like a sham about it but you are what you say you are. Unless you aren't. Either way, one of my goals for 2008, to actually try and start freelancing, failed miserably. I haven't technically had any writing responsibilities since July or so but I never got my act together to even try submitting articles, queries, or anything of the like. That goal will have to rollover I guess, like my minutes.
I attended four weddings this year (Stacey, PZ/Amy, Tien, Susan). I was not a bridesmaid for any of them, despite the release of Made of Honor in 2008 -- which I never saw, perhaps my fatal mistake. I guess that life goal will remain unchecked. My list of potential female friends who might even consider me to be bridesmaid status is quickly getting pared down though. So far nobody's been woman enough to shake things up and throw a great guy friend up there. C'mon people, someone be original. I'm running out of time! I've got a few dear friends planning weddings for next year so I'm keeping hope alive. I'm a size six and I look good in white (t-shirts).
The amazingly hopeful beginning of the year, filled with plans to travel to Southeast Asia with my fellow Dirty Thirty club members (James, Lynn, George) fell through. My grand plan to move to New York for the summer? Also fell through. The end of the year finds me where I swore I wouldn't be at the beginning; back at home, slumming in San Diego. Basically I'm all talk. I didn't move anywhere. No Hawaii, no overseas, no big international trips. I did manage to spend August in New York, make four separate trips to San Francisco, and a side trip to Washington DC. I could rally and go somewhere in January but that might cost me a month or two of rent when I move. Rent, trip, or new laptop? No brainer: laptop. Real brainer: rent. Not coming soon to an airport near you: me.
I guess it's okay though because now 2009 can start fresh and alive. "Hope" you know? On the very last day of 2008, the people I've called or talked to tonight to wish Happy New Year and such, the people whom I'm in constant daily contact with, are an entirely different group than a year ago. In fact, it feels a little bit like my close friend circle has changed. The old stalwarts, the people who've long dominated my late night, daily, and random but strangely consistent phone calls have all changed in the span of twelve months. This might not seem like much to you but for me, the bedrock of my general happiness and mini-socialness lies in these phone calls/texts/emails. So to have the whole bunch switch over has been really interesting.
It wasn't until a few weeks ago that I realized this had happened, when I'd fully replaced my habitual almost daily phone call person with someone new, that I saw the changes for what they were. The people I interact with, talk to, or know what's going on the most, are mostly people I didn't even know (or barely knew) last year. I'm not sure what that means exactly except that people move on, habits change, and my list of frequently dialed numbers has been altered for better or for worse.
On a sidenote, I'm currently working on a personalized friendship roles thingy based on this NBA Archetypes Hierarchy. More on that when it's done. I'm excited about it because I'm a retard and I get psyched about this stuff.
Part of what has made this year seem so topsy turvy is that matters of the heart have taken me far afield and into places I'd never expected. Technically speaking, I've been single for about a year and a half. As I navigate a continued friendship with my ex, I'd resolved to stay single for as long as possible to avoid hurting others (and myself I guess). Well that didn't exactly work out.
In the middle of the year, two really close friends and I got into this big old messy situation where we basically played two boys, one girl. As you can imagine, it was an awkward and emotionally wrenching couple of weeks. Not only was I facing the prospect of feeling alienated from my absolute best friend, it was also tied into complications and a new definition of friendship with my other friend. We sought solutions other than the obvious one of backing off, or having her choose, but in the end, I kind of just decided that I couldn't do it. Three way, open way, no way. I stepped out of the situation and to be honest, the awkwardness and emptiness of it all hasn't evaporated yet. C'est la vie.
I was either not brave enough or not crazy enough. Take your pick.
What I've learned (not necessarily from this situation), or hope to learn, is that it's not necessary that every time there is mutual attraction, there has to be a jump to hyper speed and a relationship. That's not an easy lesson to let sink in after years of indoctrination in the "date for marriage" school of thought. If anything, I'm incredibly fearful that I only know how to react to romance seriously, instead of lightly or from a "let's see what happens" approach. It'll be a nice lesson to explore and learn because I freaking suck at serious romance.
I tried to stay attachment free heading into 2009 (and flippantly I always said 2010) but in the end, I kind of failed. But happily. I'm sort of, kind of, definitely dating someone now and while that's an entirely scary thought with my horrendous track record, it is exciting and hopefully results in only the best. I think I learned quite a bit from my last attempt at a relationship and those lessons will ideally carry over into the new year, and into this new thing. "Keeping it real," as a friend of mine always wisely says. Wish me luck.
I guess that about covers it. 2008 in a nutshell. I'll end this with five great times, in chronological order.
What to make of 2008? I can't say it's been a hard year but to be honest, it's been a hard year. If 2006 was the year of discovery, 2007 the year of recovery, then 2008 is the year of, well, something that rhymes with -covery. Whatever. I'm not even going to begin to complain because I haven't had a job for one day this year and the next time that'll happen will probably be awhile. Have I used all that free time wisely? Certainly not, but it hasn't been totally unproductive.
I've been going over past pictures, blogs, and journal entries in an effort to encapsulate what 2008 was about. For the most part, it felt disjointed, like big momentous things happened but then sped by to be replaced by long lulls where I sat home and itched for action. Let's just start with the stats of it all.
Best movies: The Diving Bell and the Butterfly, Iron Man, Planet B-BoyI collected approximately nine months worth of unemployment -- originally only six months, but George W. was kind enough to sign an extension during the summer. That allowed me to not only increase my savings but combined with living rent free at home all year, I didn't think about money once. Actually, I thought about it a lot but only how to use it. Would I buy new clothes, could I take more trips, should I buy trinkets? In the end, I didn't exactly splurge on anything, in an effort to conserve money for when unemployment ends, but I didn't penny pinch either. It was fun. For so long I've lived with the specter of having no money, or having to borrow, that I really enjoyed not even blinking at paying for things, or paying for other people's things. It's nice to buy people stuff, even if it's just a drink or dinner.
Best books: The Amazing Adventures of Kavalier & Clay (M.Chabon), Love is a Mix Tape (R.Sheffield), How to be Alone (J.Franzen)
New friends made: Six
Contact lens prescription: -5.00 (left) and -4.75 (right), both increased slightly
Car odometer reads: 206,632 miles
Money wasted on online dating sites: $34.99
Web addresses bought: Two (jonwow.com and exclusivelychloe.com)
Twitter updates: 459
First five picks, fantasy basketball: C. Paul, A. Jefferson, C. Billups, A. Jamison, C. Anthony (currently number one)
First five picks, fantasy football: S. Jackson, L. Fitzgerald, M. Colston, R. Bush, J. Cutler (ended season in third place)
Buy a copy of EC (May 2009) and I earn: $0.40
Tagged photos of me on Facebook: 145
People kissed: Four
Music on repeat: Adele, Shortbus soundtrack, Girl Talk
Days I've been 30 years old: 122
MVL stock bought / sold: $30.25 (May) / $32.81 (Sep)
Money made from MVL stock: +$230.40
Colored iPhone apps: 18 blue, 8 red, 7 green, 15 orange/tan, 8 purple, 4 steel/neutral
Lowest Brain Tuner time: 15.62 seconds
Moblog entries: 293 (73 in August)
Blog entries: 63 hyperwest, 109 jonyangorg, 30 next thursday
Journal entries: 79
Movies seen in theaters: 37 (10 A, 12 B, 11 C, 4 D)
iTunes: 25,049 songs, 106.2 days, 123.84 gigs
Haribo gummy bears consumed: Infinity plus a handful
Unemployment ends in a week or so. My job hunt begins soon and barring a miracle, I'll be back at some terrible entry level job I hate. The trade off will (hopefully) be that I'm out of San Diego and moved up to somewhere like San Francisco. I dread the prospect of returning to a job but I won't even bitch about it because everyone else is dealing with real adult things like layoffs and keeping their jobs while still juggling bills. I have no job sure, but I also have no bills. And yes, I'm thirty.
As for writing, I've begun to become comfortable saying that I'm a writer. Until I could see the finish line for this book, I wasn't willing to say "writer" to describe myself unless pressed. Now, with it finished and completed, I'm willing to say, "I'm a writer," when someone asks what I do. I still feel like a sham about it but you are what you say you are. Unless you aren't. Either way, one of my goals for 2008, to actually try and start freelancing, failed miserably. I haven't technically had any writing responsibilities since July or so but I never got my act together to even try submitting articles, queries, or anything of the like. That goal will have to rollover I guess, like my minutes.
I attended four weddings this year (Stacey, PZ/Amy, Tien, Susan). I was not a bridesmaid for any of them, despite the release of Made of Honor in 2008 -- which I never saw, perhaps my fatal mistake. I guess that life goal will remain unchecked. My list of potential female friends who might even consider me to be bridesmaid status is quickly getting pared down though. So far nobody's been woman enough to shake things up and throw a great guy friend up there. C'mon people, someone be original. I'm running out of time! I've got a few dear friends planning weddings for next year so I'm keeping hope alive. I'm a size six and I look good in white (t-shirts).
The amazingly hopeful beginning of the year, filled with plans to travel to Southeast Asia with my fellow Dirty Thirty club members (James, Lynn, George) fell through. My grand plan to move to New York for the summer? Also fell through. The end of the year finds me where I swore I wouldn't be at the beginning; back at home, slumming in San Diego. Basically I'm all talk. I didn't move anywhere. No Hawaii, no overseas, no big international trips. I did manage to spend August in New York, make four separate trips to San Francisco, and a side trip to Washington DC. I could rally and go somewhere in January but that might cost me a month or two of rent when I move. Rent, trip, or new laptop? No brainer: laptop. Real brainer: rent. Not coming soon to an airport near you: me.
I guess it's okay though because now 2009 can start fresh and alive. "Hope" you know? On the very last day of 2008, the people I've called or talked to tonight to wish Happy New Year and such, the people whom I'm in constant daily contact with, are an entirely different group than a year ago. In fact, it feels a little bit like my close friend circle has changed. The old stalwarts, the people who've long dominated my late night, daily, and random but strangely consistent phone calls have all changed in the span of twelve months. This might not seem like much to you but for me, the bedrock of my general happiness and mini-socialness lies in these phone calls/texts/emails. So to have the whole bunch switch over has been really interesting.
It wasn't until a few weeks ago that I realized this had happened, when I'd fully replaced my habitual almost daily phone call person with someone new, that I saw the changes for what they were. The people I interact with, talk to, or know what's going on the most, are mostly people I didn't even know (or barely knew) last year. I'm not sure what that means exactly except that people move on, habits change, and my list of frequently dialed numbers has been altered for better or for worse.
On a sidenote, I'm currently working on a personalized friendship roles thingy based on this NBA Archetypes Hierarchy. More on that when it's done. I'm excited about it because I'm a retard and I get psyched about this stuff.
Part of what has made this year seem so topsy turvy is that matters of the heart have taken me far afield and into places I'd never expected. Technically speaking, I've been single for about a year and a half. As I navigate a continued friendship with my ex, I'd resolved to stay single for as long as possible to avoid hurting others (and myself I guess). Well that didn't exactly work out.
In the middle of the year, two really close friends and I got into this big old messy situation where we basically played two boys, one girl. As you can imagine, it was an awkward and emotionally wrenching couple of weeks. Not only was I facing the prospect of feeling alienated from my absolute best friend, it was also tied into complications and a new definition of friendship with my other friend. We sought solutions other than the obvious one of backing off, or having her choose, but in the end, I kind of just decided that I couldn't do it. Three way, open way, no way. I stepped out of the situation and to be honest, the awkwardness and emptiness of it all hasn't evaporated yet. C'est la vie.
I was either not brave enough or not crazy enough. Take your pick.
What I've learned (not necessarily from this situation), or hope to learn, is that it's not necessary that every time there is mutual attraction, there has to be a jump to hyper speed and a relationship. That's not an easy lesson to let sink in after years of indoctrination in the "date for marriage" school of thought. If anything, I'm incredibly fearful that I only know how to react to romance seriously, instead of lightly or from a "let's see what happens" approach. It'll be a nice lesson to explore and learn because I freaking suck at serious romance.
I tried to stay attachment free heading into 2009 (and flippantly I always said 2010) but in the end, I kind of failed. But happily. I'm sort of, kind of, definitely dating someone now and while that's an entirely scary thought with my horrendous track record, it is exciting and hopefully results in only the best. I think I learned quite a bit from my last attempt at a relationship and those lessons will ideally carry over into the new year, and into this new thing. "Keeping it real," as a friend of mine always wisely says. Wish me luck.
I guess that about covers it. 2008 in a nutshell. I'll end this with five great times, in chronological order.
(1) Going to the Super Bowl in Arizona with James, as an indentured servant for Okapix.
(2) The Celtics win their 17th championship. I misplace a $1500 winning ticket. Whoops.
(3) PZ and Amy's Wedding and the New York trip in general. Seeing Amit every day for like a month.
(4) Re-meeting my cousins, Cleo and Tiana, after seven years. They're totally grown up now and super fun and amazing.
(5) All the San Francisco trips, complete with oyster shucking, mash up parties, Little Mermaid sing-a-longs, 30th birthday celebrations, and Stevie Wonder-full.
Wednesday, October 22, 2008
Party of Five
You know how people are constantly evaluating how far in life they've come versus the traditional idea of success, etc? Well, those things can pretty much be distilled down to five general categories. Career, family, relationships, friends, and miscellaneous. That last one is tricky because it could be totally different for everyone. Health, religion, general state of being, comparison to peers, whatever.
Basically what I'm going to do in my head is assign 0-2 point values to each of the five categories and see what a particular person's happiness/life rating would be out of ten. Oh, and maybe minus points would be allowed for, you know, big minuses.
So I'm currently at a nice even 5/10 on this scale. Career (1), Family (1), Relationships (0), Friends (2), Misc (1). After giving some thought on it this weekend and batting this matrix around a little, we found a few people who might rank a nifty 9/10 on here. Okay, maybe just one or two people. Plus we're on the outside looking in so it's hard to tell if someone is really happy or not.
But that's kind of the point of this exercise, it's all about being on the outside looking in. When people are like "Oh, so how's so-and-so doing?" They are generally asking about these five things. I believe that if you can score a 8/10 by the time you're forty or so, you can say you've succeeded in life. And then maintain and try to cope. Or you know, just get crazy and wild.
Some guy developed the Oxford Happiness Inventory which is supposed to measure psychological well-being. From Wikipedia it says, "This measures happiness as an aggregate of self-esteem, sense of purpose, social interest and kindness, sense of humor and aesthetic appreciation." I'm not sure what these things have to do with happiness in the traditional sense but they seem interesting. Apparently this has been critiqued because it lacks a "theoretical model of happiness."
I'd like to research this some more and find out what other models of happiness exist. Here's one called the Emotional Quality Model and something called A Model of Happiness.
Basically what I'm going to do in my head is assign 0-2 point values to each of the five categories and see what a particular person's happiness/life rating would be out of ten. Oh, and maybe minus points would be allowed for, you know, big minuses.
So I'm currently at a nice even 5/10 on this scale. Career (1), Family (1), Relationships (0), Friends (2), Misc (1). After giving some thought on it this weekend and batting this matrix around a little, we found a few people who might rank a nifty 9/10 on here. Okay, maybe just one or two people. Plus we're on the outside looking in so it's hard to tell if someone is really happy or not.
But that's kind of the point of this exercise, it's all about being on the outside looking in. When people are like "Oh, so how's so-and-so doing?" They are generally asking about these five things. I believe that if you can score a 8/10 by the time you're forty or so, you can say you've succeeded in life. And then maintain and try to cope. Or you know, just get crazy and wild.
Some guy developed the Oxford Happiness Inventory which is supposed to measure psychological well-being. From Wikipedia it says, "This measures happiness as an aggregate of self-esteem, sense of purpose, social interest and kindness, sense of humor and aesthetic appreciation." I'm not sure what these things have to do with happiness in the traditional sense but they seem interesting. Apparently this has been critiqued because it lacks a "theoretical model of happiness."
I'd like to research this some more and find out what other models of happiness exist. Here's one called the Emotional Quality Model and something called A Model of Happiness.
