that thing you do. what is it that you hope to be when you meet people? what is that impression you are hoping people will walk away with after a conversation with you? there is so much tied into other people's perceptions. some people get along with everyone, some people don't. it's not pretty but it's simple. i think that most people are pretty aware of how they come off, especially by your twenties you kind of know how you're perceived by the general populace. the question is what you can do about those perceptions.



how many yous are there? there's the basic you, there's the you around other people you and then there's the you you want to be. that middle "you around other people you" category is a huge one. some people feel like there are hundreds of variations on that particular you, and that they change and show different facets depending on the social setting and the people around them. this i feel like would be uncomfortable, at least for me. aren't we all mostly striving to be the same person wherever we are, so we can just be "me" all the time? then again, in some situations you don't really want to reveal parts of yourself, i can understand that in terms of the work/normal life dichotomy so i guess i can see how you might want to do that with friends too.



where perception runs into security/insecurity is an interesting place. some people are fortunate enough to not have to think much about these issues. they are just accepted as who they are and don't really need to analyze or examine to find themselves. some people are the opposite, they are constantly trying to figure out where they fit in and exactly how they fit in. it's just interesting because other people's perceptions effect everyone, even if you don't admit it. how much and to what degree you are shaped by these percetpions vary but it's safe to say that no man is an island.



what do i want to be like when i meet people and talk to them? i realized yesterday (during a fumari's conversation with victor and babbs on related subjects) that my main goal is to give the person across from me a sense of comfortability. to have them at a place where they can tell me anything and feel like i won't be (a) offended (b) judgemental (c) weirded out. i want them to leave me thinking that i'm open to whatever they might say and whatever opinions or lifestyle they might have. some people want you to think that they're "nice." some people want to come off as cool, intellectual, deep, fun, whatever. i want to come off as "open." not so much as a conscious thing, but when i look at how i do things, patterns appear, as it does with all things.