(chinese) new year's resolution. i've made a major life decision and i think from here on out, my life will be better. i'm quitting. i'm going to go cold turkey and stop the fascination with top ten lists, best dressed, 500 awesome-ist people ever, and award shows -- although i am going to a grammy awards gathering today. along with that i've decided to restrain myself from cruising the internet for useless articles that only provide sustenance temporarily.

it used to be a godsend, to have something to read about sports (or whatever) online every day -- every few hours even. i would cruise around a few sites and keep on refreshing in the hopes that a new article would pop up. then i would instantly devour the five hundred word morsel and immediately search for more. it's a waste of time. it's all a waste of time. i can spend hours cruising around, link to link to link, trying to scratch that information itch. but it's useless. who cares who the most underrated players are? what the latest trade rumors might be? it's all designed to cunningly make us (me) go back to the site. well, i'm out.

same thing with lists. i'm bitter that much of my time is spent fascinated with lists. people undoubtabley love lists but for the good of my productivity life, i'm giving them up. the new rule is that if it won't help me in trivia games or flippant conversations, i'm not reading it. if it won't stay with me for at least one week, the information needs to be avoided or skimmed.

it's a tough challenge i've set before myself. magazines, bookstores, a million online sites lurk around every corner. but i think i can do it. won't you join me?

brought to you by my extensive middle school and professional video game industry experience: oregon trail: edu-taining the masses.

from diego to the bay. a few words before i begin. there are a few songs that i refuse to dance to. i will straight walk off the dance floor when these songs come on. number one on that list is "california love." number two is "nuthin but a g-thang." i can't recall the other three, but i think it's all tupac and dr dre songs rounding out the list. yes, i realize these are all songs evocative of the west coast. the "gangsta hand sign flashing west coast." and that's precisely why they should never play these songs in the club. sure they're classics, sure everyoneunu knows the last two words of every line of the lyrics. but really, have you ever seen anyone dance well to these songs? have you ever danced to one of these songs and then thought "man, that was so fun!" never.

i'm gonna go out on a limb and say that no dre or tupac should ever be played anywhere near people who are in the mood for dancing. now, i like gangsta rap as much as the next middle class whitebread guy, but give me a break. these songs are not fun to dance to, the beats get super repetitive, and it's all over-played. why the crowd even "oooh's" when "nuthin but a g-thang" comes on is beyond me. you've heard it a billion times at a billion clubs, you'll hear it a billion times more at another billion clubs. what are people excited about? it's even worse ever since the internet taught every idiot how to c-walk, poorly. sure it's the only thing you feel like doing during these songs, but actually do it. it's just stupid. stop it, tupac is dead. let him be. and people who are "gangsta" attitude-ing or dancing or making those glowering faces during these songs, stop it. for your sake if not mine. you have a midori sour in your hand, stop pretending like you're hard.

apologies for that. i just had to get it out. i really shouldn't go out to clubs anymore. it's bad for my mental health. good for venting material though.

anyway, i'm off this weekend to the bay area for a magic tournament. you heard it right, a magic tournament. it's not a "real" magic tournament (i'm underprepared and don't have the proper cards to join one of those) but it'll be a tournament nonetheless. a few friends whom i used to play with are hosting a little tourney so i've decided to go. actually, it was fated that i go, and probably decreed by the gods of geekdom. how can i pass up a chance to recapture my high school years and possibly re-kindle my desire for one of the best games ever?

i feel sorry for people who dismiss games like magic and role playing games and maybe even chess, just because geeks/dorks/nerds played them after school and during lunches. it's like the mere association with dorks is enough to taint a game's reputation. people don't know what they're missing out on.

don't people realize that everything cool now was first touched by the hands of dorks years ago? you think lord of the rings fans were cool before? how about star wars fans? even certain comic books fans (excluding cultural icons like superman, batman, wonder woman, etc)? they're multi-billion dollar entertainment behemoths and it sure wasn't the popular kids pushing them along all of these years.

so i'm waiting patiently for stuff like magic and ad&d to hit the big time. to become not only accepted as a cool club member, but be voted in unanimously as president. of course by the time this happens i'll likely be in my late middle ages, but i'd still play. once a dork, always a dork. my deck can beat your deck any day. this might turn out to be one of the best weekends ever since i turned technically adult.

to get the girl of your dreams in four easy steps
(1) get close to her any way you can. sit next to her, hang out on her porch, "happen" to run into her. tell her you invited everybody when you didn't. grab her if you must. gently though, girls are delicate.

(2) make yourself attractive. shower, shave, wear nice clothes, cut your fingernails, groom yourself. flip your hair if you must. find/fake some style and use and abuse it. find your good side (or angle) and stick to it. don't fuck around by standing next to better looking men or bright lights. hang out in shady areas with some dorky looking mofos. this is a very important step. consult a platonic female friend for "how can i look better" advice. if you have no platonic female friends, the failsafe is to hit the gym. muscles are always useful for.....making more muscle.

(3) always say "yes." nod a lot. smile a lot. agree agree agree. throw in an occassional question or retaliatory opinion just to mix things up so she thinks you're really listening. be sure to concede your point within five minutes, no matter how illogical her argument was/is. make sure to bring up how you are so in touch with your emotions and how you "love to talk all night and take romantic walks on the beach." i quoted that because you must say this verbatim. no exceptions. also, try to mirror her attitude. if she is being bitchy, you be bitchy. if she's being pouty, you be pouty. got it?

(4) tell her you like her. all the time. even if it doesn't seem to work at first and she dismisses your declarations of love as hogwash, you must keep at it. give presents (homemade shelves are nice), don't be thrifty with compliments, and make sure she knows that you don't want to just be friends. she may reject you at first but in time, your persistence and the "awn" moments you generate with your gifts will win her over. i'm sure of it. i've seen losers turn into winners through the sheer power of presents and perfectly timed compliments. when are compliments perfectly timed? any time you utter a compliment (try to be sincere please) is a perfect time.

there you have it. my four step plan to acquire the girl of your dreams, backed up by the research of really smart social psychologists. remember, "friends don't let friends be ugly." maybe this should be changed to "friends don't let friends be lonely" for 2006. the panel will consider it.

propinquity = reciprocity? in shocking news, the closer you physically are to someone the more chance you'll have of building an attraction towards them -- and vice versa. i must have missed this section in my social psychology class because i had no idea what the term "propinquity" meant. actually my class attendance record probably indicates that i missed lots of sections, and not just in this class. think of the knowledge i willing slept through.

there probably needs to be a sub-section in the romance chapter of social psych to account for why people fall in love with each other through the internet. i think i could write such a chapter. much of it would have to do with revealing photos and detailed profiles with a long list of "favorites." those always seem to work well. social psych scientists must be flabbergasted at the growing number of online hookups. it tears away at the very logical fabric that they've used to contruct their attraction theories. "wait, people don't have to actually see each other to fall in love? but it says here......"

let's look at what else social psychology offers us in terms of liking and attraction. otherwise titled "how to get the girl 101."

the four strong influencers of attraction
(1) spatial contact - proximity or propinquity
(2) physical attractiveness
(3) similarity of attitudes, values, and demographic variables
(4) reciprocity or evidence of liking

in a well funded study on twins, there was found to be no apparent genetic or shared-environment effect on mate selection. which basically means that if you and your siblings (and cousins or god forbid, parents?) happen to be attracted to the same person, you're both just sick and can't blame it on god.

(1) propinquity (i don't even know how to say this word properly). being close to someone provides the opportunity to interact and get to know them. pheromones also don't work so well from a distance. winks, sultry eyes, smiles, and flexing however, does work from a distance. being exposed to someone increases familiarity and familiarity breeds....contempt? it also breeds attraction. basically if you hang out with someone long enough, chances are you'll probably want to kiss them at some point. even if it's only a fleeting thought. that's propinquity.

(2) physical attractiveness. once the proximity barrier has been breeched, physical attraction comes into play. stunningly, more well funded studies have found out that physical attractiveness (or "PA" as scientists like to call it) is the most powerful predictor of liking. it's hard to believe researchers use "liking" as a scientific term isn't it? they're so fifth grade.

people of comparable PA are more likely to match up, they also tend to stay together longer (unless you're a celebrity in which case reverse-PA seems to happen a lot). people infer positive attributes from beauty. yes, it's true. it took researchers many years to figure this one out i'm sure. beauty equals good, ugly equals bad. note that the gift of PA isn't necessarily always positive. "inferences of lower intelligence and attributional ambiguity when receiving praise or benefits" can accompany high PA.

the effects of PA tapers off in adult years, and does not predict life or relationship satisfaction. good to know. plastic surgery is still an efficient and effective way to fix yourself. medical advances have pushed recovery time to a bare minimum and i have plenty of band-aids to hide any unsightly bruises. remember, pain is temporary, beauty is forever.

(3) similarity of attitudes, values, and demographic variables. once you're hanging out and physical attraction has commenced, "mind melding" is the strongest predictor of further relationship developments. people choose partners with similar age, race, class, regional origin, culture in part because of proximity but also because this common background makes attitude similarity more likely.

correlations between couples are .40-.60 for attitudes, .46 for education, .45 for physical attractiveness, .37 for IQ, and about .15 for personality. the only feature for which complementarity holds true is the trait-pair dominance-submissiveness (i have no idea what this last sentence means).

similar attitudes help in a relationship because it provides social validation of your own attitudes. being able to hang out with someone and partaking in joint activities, leads to joint experiences and the building of a strong relationship foundation. similarly minded people also tend to have the same negative inferences about other people, meaning you can gossip and bash other people together. big bonus.

however when you disagree or argue, similarity of attitudes can be disastrous since it will then reflect on how different you are from each other. and make you question if you are truly "right for each other" or "soulmates." right honey?

(4) reciprocity or evidence of liking. if you find out that the other person likes you, your own attraction level increases. you also probably get giddy. scientists postulate that this is a self-fulfilling prophecy. if you know someone, anyone, likes you, you get an ego boost and thus more confidence. confidence is good for the skin. girls dig it too. if you are to err on one side of the line with regards to confidence or cocky, go cocky every time. lack of confidence is a bigger turn off than cockiness. chicks dig dicks (and assholes). they don't dig whimpering simps.

with evidence that someone likes you, your ego is flattered but also, your fear of rejection is lowered. in lieu of actually having someone like you, alchohol is a good substitute for lowering fear of rejection, if only temporarily. alchohol is also a good way to get people to like you, or to find out if someone likes you. i mean, so i've been told.

there it is. the four major antecedents of liking and attraction, presented by knowledgeable social psychologists everywhere. i'll distill the lessons we've learned here into some simple steps for those of us who don't know big words like "propinquity." actually, i'll do that tomorrow.

the thomas crowne affair. my roommate, otherwise known as the photo nazi, accuses me of stealing everyone's photos. it's true. if i see a picture i like, i'll either take it or ask for a copy of the big version for my files. he thinks this is unethical. keep in mind that my roommate also makes me hibernate my computer after fifteen minutes of not using it because it "sucks electricity." he recently taught me a "better" way to wrap up the vacuum cord (our vacuum cleaner cost $400 don't you know). he also has an "ingenious way" to put the trash bag into the trash can for maximum waste holdage. and my roommate tells me to pee sitting down because for some reason or other our toilets were made for midgets -- whether or not i actually pee sitting down can't be disclosed at this moment. yeah, my roommate has some issues. but that's a blog entry for another time.

he says that me taking other people's pictures is immoral. i say it's just me wanting to have a collection of good photographs of my life, regardless of who was responsible for taking them. i mean, i'm not slow to give credit or to acknowledge the fact that these pictures weren't taken by me. if anything, i serve as a walking advertisement for how great a person's photography skills are. i have no shame in admitting that i suck at taking pictures with my outdated camera. with the ease of photo sharing nowadays, why not exchange (steal) photos from friends? that's why god invented digital photography. my roommate disagrees.

meanwhile, i continue to post all of his good pictures on my website, since i think it's criminal that these fine pictures are wasted on his computer when i (and presumably you) could be enjoying them. if you go to my pictures section or good picture albums, half of my links are to his pictures since he won't set up an archive himself. i'm doing him, and the world, a great service. someday he'll thank me for this. anyway, i just wanted to say that from now, and applied retroactively, any awe inducing picture that i present to the public was probably taken by one of my friends. it's not mine. got it?

i have gotten quite good at backseat photoshopping however, so if you seem to look better than normal in his pictures, feel free to thank me for my skills. i think i was born to use other people's skills for my benefit. oh, i hear my roommmate coming home now. i have to go clean the lint trap.

a thousand words. digital photography has changed everything. in the past, you had to conserve your film because it was expensive. in the past, you had to get your film developed, hoping that the seven bucks you paid resulted in five or six quality photos. in the past, taking pictures was a chore, and sharing them even worse. now, it's all different. you can take as many pictures as you want, review them immediately, and if they suck, you can re-pose. sharing pictures is efficient too. send a friend a link and voila, they see your pictures. but it's not a perfect photo world by any means. there are too many photo services out there. snapfish, ofoto, shutterfly, kodak, blah blah blah, the list goes on. i'm sick of it. we need to organize before we can effectively pictorialize (together).

i'm not asking for much. i just want a photo service that allows me to store my photos in perpetuity, easily group and organize albums, doesn't make other people log on to see my pictures, and most importantly, access to large versions of all of my images. i want full access to my pictures -- and yours.

i've been a loyal yahoo photos customer for three years and five albums, but no more. i'm sick of the small image size, the reduction in quality, the small storage space (they fixed this i think). while i do enjoy yahoo's ease of use and the ability to quickly and easily rearrange and edit the names on my photos, i need something better. hello flickr, the new photo site bought out recently by yahoo.

while i missed out on the flickr bandwagon when they were giving out unlimited pro accounts, i did sign up to flickr quite a while ago. i used the site mainly for large "good" images but not normal images because there was an upload limit per month, and it was a pain in the ass to upload pictures one by one, without an upload utility. flickr has an easy uploading program now, for both pcs and macs, erasing all my doubts.

free flickr accounts offer 20 megs of upload bandwidth a month (plenty by most normal people's standards), a semi-clean interface, some photo editing features, commenting functions, privacy settings, tagging of photos, and upload from emails or phones. plus it syncs nicely with blogs. best of all? flickr saves your photos forever (although it only displays your last 200 photos unless you have a pro account). flickr also resizes your images from thumbnail to original size, and all logged in flickr members can access the original image.

flickr pro nets you: 2 gigs of upload a month, unlimited storage, unlimited bandwidth, unlimited photo sets, permanent archiving of photos, and ad-free browsing. all for the low low price of $24.95 a year. that's super cheap. i would do it immediately, except i don't have a credit card.

there are some cons of course. such as the tragically unwieldy organization system which seems to be a bit clunky and slow. also, there is a limited number of albums, or "sets," you can create using the free version. these caveats aside, flickr is pretty great. you can also make contacts, friends and family designations so you are linked to your friends' albums. this is something no other photo service offers (yet). no digging around in emails for your friend's photo links, just go to flickr and find them. it's a community! you can also make group photo groups, so for example, if you and all three of your friends just attended a wedding, you can share your pictures in a group wedding album.

what're you waiting for? get a flickr account so we can be friends and share pictures! do it now. this message is not (sadly) paid for or endorsed by flickr or yahoo in any way. i'm just really into nostalgia okay?